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Death unnaturally

Death comes to us all. It's natural so to say.
But we look upon it with unnatural fear and loathing. I'd like to believe that I'm special and above it all; in vain.

There's no telling when it'll come my way although I'm hopeful that there's still time to that moment. But I'd like my life and the death that follows to be of some meaning. No I don't want martyrdom in the name of country or religion. I'm simply trying to get a hang of the bigger picture here. The big bang had an impact on this universe in it's own little way. I'd like to be able to help too.

If I were faced with the inevitability of it, would I stop fearing it ?
Let's just say that there was to be an extinction level event tomorrow - could I deal with it knowing there's nothing I could do to avoid atomisation?
Maybe I'd get drunk, stay drunk. Or I'd spend it with the family in quiet introspection. There'd obviously not be enough time to do all that I'd planned for. But something inside feels that I would never give up trying to live till that last neural nerve worked. I'd be looking to squeeze that last bit of hope for survival as long as possible. This whole Human Spirit thing always leaves me a tad flummoxed.

I do not fret about the after life. I do not fret in the current life. But I still worry myself over that moment. But like a good doctor always tell his patient before the injection - you won't feel a thing.

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