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Showing posts from 2010

Sense or the lack of it...

They say a flood makes the land on the river bank more fertile. They never talk about the deaths that came about because of the flood. So also with fate.

It's funny how fate lacks sense.
The decision to come to a favorable conclusion - all's well that ends well, leaves a lot of broken bodies &  minds in its wake.

The Journey is the reward - an aphorism that I love to abhor.
It's the challenging portion, no doubt - but I prefer the end result (esp if it's in my favor).

I'd love to see myself the visionary - but vision impaired is the more likely outcome. Going through life wondering if I'm keeping to my so called 5 /10 year plan. They say every action should be in keeping with my goals - but they rarely ever are. Somehow things seem to fall into place and I look good on the face of it.
But I never planned for the good stuff to happen. It just did.
Oh - I look upwards and thank him tons. But if someone were to ask me the details of how I got where I am today …

Death unnaturally

Death comes to us all. It's natural so to say.
But we look upon it with unnatural fear and loathing. I'd like to believe that I'm special and above it all; in vain.

There's no telling when it'll come my way although I'm hopeful that there's still time to that moment. But I'd like my life and the death that follows to be of some meaning. No I don't want martyrdom in the name of country or religion. I'm simply trying to get a hang of the bigger picture here. The big bang had an impact on this universe in it's own little way. I'd like to be able to help too.

If I were faced with the inevitability of it, would I stop fearing it ?
Let's just say that there was to be an extinction level event tomorrow - could I deal with it knowing there's nothing I could do to avoid atomisation?
Maybe I'd get drunk, stay drunk. Or I'd spend it with the family in quiet introspection. There'd obviously not be enough time to do all that I'd p…

The iPad phenomenon

One week of owning this very interesting device. I thought the charm would wear off soon. It hasn't. In fact I'm now convincing others to own it as well.

Son what can I do with it. Mostly everything I need to stay occupied including high end photo editing tasks hitherto considered the dominion of the MacBook. The software is cheaper too.

I blog from the iPad. Stay socially connected wherever I am. Edit my photographs , watch flicks and listen to music too. If I'm bored I download the latest issue of any magazine I wanna read or a book thats available in the snoop format.

It's good for use at work when I need to make that presentation to the customer or play angry birds while I wait for an appointment. Check out the recipes online or a topic on wiki. Keep track of appointments, birthdays or things to do.

This will not replace my MacBook or the iPhone. But it makes life more interesting. All 9.7 inches of it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Unnamed Rd,Gurgao…

One day...

one day the world will end
some will call it a beginning
it's only a matter of perception
i wonder where I will be on that day.
i mull over life after D-Day - if I make it that far
everything that we take for granted today.. would have gone
except that is - select human beings with their strengths and weaknesses..

So the big thought running around in my head (other than how to survive that day) is whom do i want to survive with......

Defining art

Much has been said about the technical aspects of photography.

I'm being blunt when I say they're worth a damn.. in my book. There is nothing like a bad photograph. In fact the scientific approach to defining art as good or bad - is not worth subscribing to. One mans art is another mans fart.
I may like a photograph or I may not - it's a binary state analysis. If I do - then kudos to the artist.. else a few judo kicks in my mind. But I'm quite sure that someone somewhere will understand what was being depicted and appreciate it. 
A few budding artists sent me a few photographs to see if I could help them out. Try I did. But I believe that you do not need anyone else's appreciation to believe in yourself and your art. It's quite simple actually. Learn the technical aspects of photography - as you deem necessary to create the images that you would like to see. Don't over analyze your art to the point of making it a quantifiable entity. We all have our individual visi…

Travel in peace

Traveling to work has never been this much fun in Delhi. The commonwealth games have succeeded where years of planning have failed. They've cleared the traffic from Delhi roads. Suddenly we've learned traffic rules and the benefits of using the Metro.

The roads have improved and so have we. Now if only some parents had used condoms at the right time- we wouldn't have an excess of politicians.
Location:Mehrauli Gurgaon Rd,New Delhi,India

Twisted mountain roads

Somewhere in the shadows, my destiny awaits.
The last couple of months have passed by like a whirlwind. No time to sit and take stock.
There's been the usual traveling down south working to sate that wanderlust. The missus has gone in for a job change that has altered the daily routine ( for the better). My page on Facebook just crossed 3000 fans, a milestone that came sooner than expected.. Folks have started noticing my photography and there are prompts to go full time commercial as well. I'm just glad that I can show them how I see the world.

Just turned 33 in the month of the virgin. There's a whole lot of life ahead, or not. Depends on how you see it. Sitting in the night train from Bellary to Bangalore, the lights in the distance whizzing by and PM Dawn playing their stuff in my head, I'm set adrift on memory bliss.

I like the thought of money and applause on the photography front - but I'm not ready to compromise on my style.. I love shooting people thru…

My Secret

You gotta shift that awareness
It’s important to feel good and use the law of attraction to change your life.
When you feel down - it’s possible to switch that thought process by doing something that will feel good.
It’s all about self belief and turning affirmative thoughts to change your life.
I can be the Alladdin of my life while the universe plays the role of the genie.... yeah... and everything I wish is a command to be obeyed.

I ask for what I want.... no real need for written words- just feel it..
I allow the universe to answer the questions that have  been asked
Receive  life- come into alignment with what I've been asking for. That’s the feeling of joy and passion - without the emotions of fear, anger, possessiveness and other negative thoughts.

I follow that intuitive edge and the impulse to do it.

 I started with NOTHING... and from there... I decided that I will have EVERYTHING.

Life is about that car on the dark highway where the headlights focus 200ft ahead. One can…

Crossroad Rumination

A long time coming.
This post has me thinking to no real end.

Between the hectic tours, family emergencies and my photography - this poor blog has taken a bit of a backseat. It's not that I've stopped thinking or feeling - just stopped expressing.
There comes a time for rethinking and puts life at the crossroads somewhat. That which was right next to you, becomes distant. You don't notice at first - but the enormity of the situation hits you all of a sudden... as Murphy puts it - when least expected

There was a time when things were crystal clear. Everything seemed to fit like a brick in a wall rather than the 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle that life has now become.

So what do I do... I shell up!
Cos' my shell is the only place that's mine and it's private.
Stare dreamlessly on and hope for nothing. There are no conflicting thoughts here. There are no thoughts actually. Just some empty space that doesn't know whether to fill up or stay that way. The perfect term fo…

Body & Soul

this week has been one of those that comes about once in a lifetime.
well my grandmother (Badi Amma) could only have died once.......
This is how I'd like to remember her... the way one remembers a beautiful person

This is not so much about her as it is about a sensitization with death and the mortal coil. I'm nowhere near attaining Moksha with the way things stand at this time. But  here's the set of thoughts in this head...

I see a new face of life every day.This time I saw death.

My camera stayed in its bag as I let the mind' eye record all that went on. A part of me wants to describe a lot of emotions verbatim as i felt them. Another part of me says that this blog is read by people of all ages. Sensitivity creeps in.
I had not spoken with my Granny for sometime now. A host of reasons abound but that's the way it was. I loved her in my own way - without saying that it was as much love as it should have been. Her death is my loss since I couldn't set a lot of thi…


...the key determinant to why we do what we do.
All actions are judged by their motives. If it were any other way, generals would be mass murderers, Income tax officials would be cheats and thieves and even a judge would be a murderer. The country would stop expecting self-sacrifice from its citizens and even the holiest of prophets would be guilty of misguiding millions.

Rat poison added to the rice to kill the rodents is a noble motive (no matter what Maneka says) but the same combination fed to a person would be guilty as sin. The question that comes to my mind is what is the right motive and what’s not.

I look for motives in actions around me at work.
There’re folks and then there are THOSE folks.
It’s like looking for patterns in a game.
Agendas abound - mostly of a personal nature. It’s difficult to get a hold of those which are beneficial to the organization and those beneficial to an individual or a group of individuals.

I guess that’s why they call it experience. Here’s what…

a window within

sitting by the window as the train whizzes along. The superfast express and the cattle class compartment are good remedies for a mind hovering on the edge. I have conjectured how it would come to this, many a time. The end was never in doubt - just the where and the when.

The balmy air outside transforms to a good wind and I make my way to the door feeling like some rain. The weather gods do not disappoint.
There is a smell of freedom in the air and it washes over me in gusts of rain. This freedom is not one earned lightly. I had to change gears and perspective - easier written than actually done.

It was only when I decided to stop chasing money and love - they came to me of their own free will. It was only when I became comfortable with me - that others did likewise.  I recast the word "ambition" into a "calling" - then success followed me. Happiness in what I'm doing and being able to derive satisfaction in doing it right - that's pretty much turned this …

Do pal

do palon ki thi ye dilon ki dastaan
phir chal diye - tum kahaan, hum kahaan

There comes a time when we part ways.
Sometimes it is only to meet again...

.. then again there are those partings which are forever.
.. those tracks shall never cross again.

All that is left are a few memories and moments.
Cliched as the opening lines may sound - they sum up a lot of my life.
Nothing seems to last forever - as this stone rolls on.

those days

Four little boys went to school together. They spent a lot of time growing up with each other.
They were each a little similar and a little different.

a class topper with the neatest handwriting. very soft at heart and speech. he wouldn't hurt a fly. Very thoughtful tooone an accountant at heart- with the desire to mint money. a yaaron ka yaar with an infectious smile. very hardworking - went back to work after an all rounder who wanted to prove it to everyone around him. prove he did - whether at sports, studies, personality contests or Harvard... lastly - a guy who always almost got there... but not quite. he liked his wine and women and almost enjoyed life kingsize. 
College came and went. They stayed in touch though their paths were different. 
Careers started developing and still they connected.
All normal guys like you and I - engineers and accountants.

Then the first winds of change blew... from the west.
One decided to go to the US of A to complete his masters. All …

a tear

ajeeb hain dil ke dard yaaaron,na hon to mushkil hai jeen iska!!
jo hon to har dard ek heera, har ek gum hai nagina iska....
The tale of the heartless one continues.
Another gut wrenching saga is in the offing.

The sun sets across the horizon like the veil that drapes her face.
it’s difficult to comprehend the source of that pounding heartbeat that follows.
It could be your heart - but the high volume that I hear puts it closer to being me.

I feel a tear that captures all my emotions, dropping to the sand beneath. There’s no loud noise here. Just the million shards of a broken heart.
Nobody understands that poor tear, bereft of a home, searching for solace in a world that has gone cold. I choose to splatter across the grains of sand. They absorb me and I am no more. The hot sands devour me. There is little comfort in the fact that i have provided solace to the creatures of the sand.

The physical being that was me - a tear, no longer exists. I exist in thought and heart. My spiritual f…

Too Many Meetings

Too Many Meetings, originally uploaded by recnamorcen_99. Meetings were the bane of my life... at one point in time. They drove me positively nuts.
Now things are different.... i call the shots and the meetings now....
So I suppose the burden has shifted....

The world shall spin around soon. We shall come upon this spot again.

The Best Twitter Breakup lines....

Ironic that this post should come in Valentines week.... but that's why it is so apt...!!
My tweetline shows that this was started by Chetan Bhagat.... with a promise for free autographed copies of his book for the winners!!!

Some of the lines are given below..... !!

It was only one tweet! it didn't mean anything, i's not your tweets, it's mineit's not's your said this silicone would NEVER leak..bye.You blocked me .. I block you back ..........I feel like this break up has made our relationship so much strongeru shud've told me b4 kissing dat u didnt brush..of course i want kids. just not like're good at measuring everything in life. ab raasta naapo! bye..i loved you when i read yr first tweet, and hated you by the time i read your first retweet. the worst part its youI'm not a hot middle eastern girl from Cali. I'm actually a fat middle aged man from Nebraska. Can we still be friends?you are really tweet, but…

the new lappie

Generally raving, ranting, fuming and fretting.
much ado about nothing.
My ego takes a real beating sometimes and it's not an easy feeling to digest. But then it's not fair to expect reciprocity all the time.
Will be off to Hyderabad next week - for 6 days. End up missing a good wedding too, thanks to the annual sales conference. But then I shall hopefully see Avatar in 3D!! Trust Runna shall get the tickets for that.
I got my new macbook today. It's the same 13" one that I previously owned (and still do) with a few minor soup ups and soup downs.....

theres a 250GB HDD now... wowRAM went up from 1 to 2 GBthe body is sleekerthe screen is brighterbut there's no remote control ... presentations will suckand they changed the mini-dvi out.... so i had to buy another adapterand it costs a lot more in India... $999 translates to 56900 instead of 46500..... thats a whopping 10K difference!!all the software is expensive as hellmigration between lappies is a breeze.... one w…

dew red

We live from moment to moment....
the drops of dew on the leaf reminiscent of a night past.... of passions that overtook us
tu mile na mile - yeh haseen silsile.....
those moments will live in the depth of my heart for as long as it beats.

I open my eyes and wish them closed yet again.
ek gehra ehsaas hai ki tum mere kareeb ho
but the image that is conjured up is not real.
waqt ke saath yeh tasveer bhi dhundli ho gayi hai.
the water that flows under the bridge erodes many a stone and pillar.
someday the water will win and the bridge will be but a memory.

kuchh nishaan mitte nahin
these scars I shall carry forever
the blood that has flowed, stains the leaf and my soul
Someday there will be repentance; someday I shall wash myself clean;
someday this soul will break free.

That day is not today

Blackberry Pie

I have always been a crackberry addict.... devoting a large part of waking / sleeping time to staying online and abreast of my email.
Now it is tim for the wifey to get into the groove and rock on with her new blackberry curve 8520.

So now.. ghar mein do-do blackberry
par... ek ghar mein sirf ek blackberry ho sakta hai!!!
Otherwise who'll do the cribbing when the spouse is checking email.

I have decided to move on and downgrade myself in the name of parity at home
I'm now the owner of an HTC HD2.
This is a BIG BIG phone.. though a tad thin and drool-worthy in it's own way...
It has an amazing processor (1 GHz) and lots of memory in addition to an 8GB memory card.
But it runs Windows Mobile 6.5

and I run an Apple OS - Snow Leopard!!!


The moment could be upon you every once in a blue moon. It could also be upon you every other day. That depends on the way you play your cards.

When the moment begins, there is that totality to it. A loss of all external sensation as the rhythm rises to a crescendo. The coming together of all the great tenors could not have made this what it is right now. It's a breath of fresh air, that first raindrop that works it's way down the forehead or the first flake of winter snow. A cool breeze in the middle of summer that works it's way up to gale force. That song from the OLD SPICE advertisement plays on and on in my head as the the frequency reaches fever pitch. At the eye of the storm is an odd shaped peace.... it's odd that one feels divine, it's odd that the system reacts the way it does, it's peaceful in that no one can enter that cocoon. There is that moment that one wishes could last forever. There is the possibility that living within that moment you attain …

the long journey home

If ever there was a fire in our hearts,
let it burn all the more bright, now.

We were meant to be together - you and I.
The sands of time have flowed through that hour glass and yet we strive in dormancy.
When will you heed the cries of that lovelorn heart?

Soon age will catch up and the love of ages will be left by the wayside - another story untold. Another tragedy added to the roster of love stories that didn't make it.
It is better untold, or lovers down the years will twitter & trend on the tragedy of that sweetest of emotions.

My eyes search for that familiar face among the strangers that abound. Maybe it is that most basic of human emotions-hope, that keeps me going. My quest continues. My camera shutter opens and closes with regularity as I deign to capture life's moments on the move. I'm at the point where medicine will fail to affect. A point where the sweet music plays in the heart.... and the reaper sharpens his scythe.


Dil to baccha hai ji...
the heart is a child.... a lil frivolous, a lil pendulum, goes from here to there.
when it beats - it refuses to see
these moments in life - they refuse to pass

Darr lagta hai kuchh kene se...
the freewheeling desires of the heart are forbidden
the apple that eve had for dinner and the hangover that followed

Aisi uljhi nazar unse hatti nahin
i saw her once
now i see her always

Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
the colors have faded from my face
this silken thread that binds us
this thread that cannot be broken

Kisko pata thaa ki dil aisa khel khelega
the games that people play
the heart is the culprit

Aisi nigaahon se dekha usne
.. or was it the way I looked at her

Hum to hameshaa sochte the dil accha hai
.... par woh to kamina nikla.
the memory of midnights past
the mornings that should never have come

Dil dhadakta hai jaise
Tauba ye lamhe
moments in the past
moments of solitude
interspersed with bodies and emotions

Yeh geet bas bajta rehta hai
no account for …

Dreary Winters

This was supposed to be a toughie... winter cold or summer heat?
I'd prefer the winter cold ... given that it works out cheaper on the wallet (NO AC requirements). But both extremes are painful.
I crave for cool air in the summer and hot air in the winter.,,,
God never meant for us human beings to get comfortable/ be satisfied.

AT present I'm reeling under the cold wave in Delhi. Having returned from a peaceful maritime climate oriented Tamil Nadu - the fog and chill have made the above picture reflective of my mood!!
The feet are cold, the nuts are shivering, the head is cringing....and there's no respite. The fog only isolates me ... so i'm cocooned in a cold, misty bubble all by myself listening to a rapidly accelerating heartbeat from within. It's like not knowing what's out there.

I don't like it!!

skin deep

skin deep, originally uploaded by recnamorcen_99. stop reacting at the first line....
think it through..
issues and people are more than they really seem
there's more to life than the outer skin.
cos when you react impulsively - the opposite party is forced to react too.

My commitment for 2010 is to react less. To control that adrenaline rush and think things through. Call it maturity, call it aging, call it the bald man's try at peace!! Call it whatever.

I've seen the things, relationships and people that i've wrecked by being every so ready to react. Now it's time to peel away those layers and get to the deep end before I give an answer - before i take action.

I followed a dictum - my way or the goddamn expressway. Not any longer. We can all take the highway together. Makes for an easier living.
Be in peace all of you .... !!
That way I shall find my peace too.

17 hours in Trichy

That's how long this trip was. But it feels a lot longer. Consider
this :
I slept for a full two hours in the last 36. That's cos trains keep me
I've been riding pillon with Muthu all day as we went Bout our
customer visits
Trichy roAds Are indian by nature
Trichy traffic is even more indian
My heavy camera bag on the shoulder helped exercise the pectoral muscles
My shirt had developed creAses from long travelling in the suitcase -
operation coverup included a sweater in the sweltering heat
Luckily the food was great and thrrefore in conclusion I shall carry
good memories - till the next time.
Now it's the rockfort express as we head back to sweet chennai.
One more day and I'm home ....

Chennai diary

10 hours of highway driving ahead of me. Already feeling tired.
Especially since I have an overnight train to Trichy. My cuisine has
been limited vegetarian till now and has not enthralled.
The warm temperature has been a boon so far as I escaped the Delhi
chill - but that will evaporate as the perspiration begins.
There's an inordinately large amount of wall art here. Mostly
politicians from qaAmma to MK Stalin. They even have him painted on
their doors. The only plAce I'd paint a politician is on a dart board.
The locals converse with me in English and i've been warned against
using Hindi. This brings me to another conclusion that raj Thackeray
was not the first separatist / isolationist leader. Some of these Are
people who now rule us from the centre.
The drive to Vellore was quite peaceful And the road was like a light
breeze on a calm oceAn.
The foodie in me could not return to Chennai without partaking of
Ammas Biryani at the vellore bus stand. There Amidst the …

Small learning

Having watched 3 idiots last evening the mind is flying at a pace that
rivals the shatabdi express. It's fun to be an idiot rather than
stupid - and a tad useful too.
So I'm 32 and wondering how I could free my mind given the load of
tripe I've been feeding it all along. Here's somethings I could
probably do.
- live for today in the moment
- follow a path of excellence in all that I do
- focus and develop my photography skills cos that's what I'd rather
be doing in life
- do the photography for myself - my way rather than always be
explaining it to those around me
- unlearn a lot of the stuff that's been keeping the mind in check so
- stop worrying so much

Allllllll is well....

Rock on Baby!!

rock on baby, originally uploaded by recnamorcen_99. .. 2 years to go for the end of the world... can't say i'm not looking forward to it :-)
wish ya' all a great year ahead....
and this time around i have a resolution too - one i shall endeavor to keep to.