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sorry!!

So many emotions. Most lying dormant. Along comes an earthquake. Suddenly it's out in the open. It doesn't have to be a big shake up. Just a scene from the past in a new setting.

Let me put it across in an example.
I shall be 31 soon. I have not lived a loveless existence. I've known my share of pretty ladies. But when I explain the failed relationships to myself - it is always their fault. It's something that I've internalized. I'll never admit to myself that I was wrong, that I was irrational, that I ditched the girl, that I broke her heart. I love to paint myself as the ephemeral poster boy (esp the one who lives next door). But Arjun Mahajan is far from that.
So today - wifey and me were watching ROCK ON. She missed my tears. There was something in that whole scene when the main protagonist comes face to face with the girl he walked out on - without any reason. I mean his walking away wasn't even about them. But he took a decision and she suffered. He accepted his life as a compromise. She moved on - in time.
So when they met again - he was feeling shifty and she looked him in the eye. At least he had the balls to say sorry. I wonder If I could ever do that.

I wonder how many feeling and thoughts we all have within, that are just waiting. Then, the most logical of us become impulsive and emotional. Then, it's not about right and wrong, but the act of doing that which we feel is necessary. My wife loves, understands and tolerates me more than any of the women who came before her.. or after. I wonder what feelings are lying dormant within... her!

Sorry... this one is from the heart.

Comments

Keshi said…
So how abt dedicating a post for all the pretty ladies u've met in ur 31 years of life on Earth? :)

Keshi.
Arjun said…
I sure as hell would like to do that someday. Today may not be the day.
SMM said…
No comments..but I wonder if I will end up thanking them like Farhan Akhtar's wife does in the movie
Solitaire said…
I love this one from the heart. I am so glad to have found a man who is not afraid of admitting his emotions. Those are far few and rare these days.
Arjun said…
smm - babe you're the best
Arjun said…
thanks Sol
I appreciate the compliment - but somewhere inside - somewhere deep within the heart - there is this feeling that I was bad and in being so -I hurt others.
whirlwind said…
Whoa Arjun! - Rock on ahead
Arjun said…
Thanks johnny. Rock on
Solitaire said…
Arjun, if you have this feeling, then come read my current post on psychobabble. It is just for you!!

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