Crazy world... insane thoughts
It's like the title says...

Keepin score!!

Saturday, July 26, 2008
The onset of a low in the biorhythm cycle can be observed more effectively from the outside. It’s difficult to sit on judgment on the self. It’s like something is eating me up on the inside - but I don’t know what it is!
She senses it. She hints and presumes that all may not be right. The common observation is that I’m on 2 extremes - cranky or hyper! I’ve been overtly defensive and then extremely intolerant. This is like a festering wound which I cannot identify or diagnose effectively. My patience levels have been running low for sometime now. I have to will myself to be quiet when it would happen so naturally otherwise.

I’m going to try something new now. Something to help calm me.

I’m gonna motivate me to be cool (aka CALM)

Everyday that I go through without sarcastic remarks, angry retorts, crazy expressions, cold attitude - I will track and give myself 6 points.

The initial monthly target will be 150 points.

We will move that up to 175 points in the next 6 months!

180 is UTOPIA!

There will be negative marking for every transgression. Transgressions will be punished by awarding 1 point less. In case of more than 6 transgressions per day - points will travel in the negative zone!

A minimum of 100% TGT achievement is acceptable. Any less and I will do penance in other yet to be defined ways.

This reservoir of energy will now be used for doing what they proverbially call the GOOD things only. Nobody else can do it for me. This is from within.

This is not prescribed by any doctor or shrink. But I think it should work just fine!
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KNOL calling!

Friday, July 25, 2008
Have you tried the KNOL page???

KNOL is a unit of knowledge. It’s the GOOGLE guys’ answer to WIKIPEDIA!
Check it out!

I like their concept of knowledge sharing.. and the underlying concept that guided GOOGLE - DO NO EVIL

One of these days I shall write a KNOL too.
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Friday, July 25, 2008
there are global issues today!

oil price rise
the falling us dollar
bush’s war in Iraq
the proposed war against Iran
terrorism in Kashmir
worldwide food shortage
the greenhouse effect
melting polar ice
how i am going through the next working day
supriya missed the footwear “SALES” in town

ok - so some of them aren’t!!

But how much attention do we really pay to the issues around us??

Big question!!
The answer is quite simple.

Most of us care a damn for melting polar ice and the war in Iraq s long as we’re not affected directly. We fail to observe the presence of the “BUTTERFLY EFFECT”.

I am a survivalist. I intend to live out my life as is ordained by the lines on my hand. So I wonder how one cascading effect will lead to another... I’d hate to be Del Amitri singing - always the last to know!!

I’ve done my bit of reading on history. Suffice it to say that the biggest events had a very small trigger. What’s the next trigger coming our way? Maybe we don’t give it much thought. But we should. Our thoughts, words and most of all - our actions will go a long way in preventing events befalling us! We have to be prepared.

We can prevent things from befalling us. Even events that are classified as FORCE MAJEURE - we can work together to ensure that they don’t happen!

There is birth, death and this empty space in between. Well - some would disagree that it ain’t empty. I disagree and say that for most of us life is a factory (monotonous production line) and it ain’t worth a shit! Some of us dream that things will change and a pitiful few work towards effecting that change. I try and work towards it in the small sphere of influence that I exert. I don’t care that it is a worldwide success. I only hope that when the time comes - we are ready and ride out that BIG wave.

Call me a pessimist - absolutely not! I was born believing I will be the king of the world someday. Maybe not today!

But I’ll be around for a bit :-)

..... this ain’t over. There’s more to come from this mind yet!
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Treading by the mill!

Thursday, July 24, 2008
I do manage to get on the treadmill every now and then.
It does me good too!

But try as I might - morning exercise was not made for me (and vice versa)
So I'm hopeful that the days we get home at a decent hour... and when it's not my turn to cook, then I shall with all the dedication in my warm lil heart, perform!

Staying fit was never easy!
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What’s It!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008
So maybe my grammar is off. I have replaced the hallowed “?” with a more in our face “!” n the title for this post.

So if you have watched the film where pappu - who obviously can’t dance - then you’d have learned that the mind works in a weird manner shutting out the scenes that make life difficult. It’s so much easier to imagine and work in a world where there is happiness all around and no “bad” things whatsoever.

That’s the whole idea of playing “WHAT’S IT” !!

Look at something and imagine it were not so.

Let me help you out with alive example. Take a look at the pic below and tell me what you’d infer!

It's not just a tree.....
It's a pretty ballerina giving her best as she performs to the crowd in the darkness..
She throws her hands about and sashays with grace waiting for the cameras to begin!

Whaddaya think?
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In thy hallowed face!

Thursday, July 24, 2008
I have a viewpoint on everything.
I may be constrained by the amount of background data available. But rest assured... i will have something to say nonetheless!

It’s not about having the first word in or the last word out. It’s about having a word to put it. I read a lot of blogs. Yes I do have something to say (on each one of them). It’s not about a positive or a negative word. It’s about applying the intellect to add value to the writings of others. Again - “value” - highly debatable - but you either do your thing or wait for an earthquake to come and shake it loose!

So - coming back to politics. I hold no affiliation to either/any of the available parties. None of their preached / practiced ideologies hold much water for me. I prefer t think of myself as a patriot who views things with a lens of what I perceive to be good for this country.

I stay up at nights and wonder if being vocal and expressive - the “in your face” attitude will take me far. It’s taken me down a road where the pitfalls are numerous. I seriously wonder if I should change myself.... the moment passes....!!

So the dregs of society who play games with us and our minds can go screw themselves. I’m in favor of the constitutional amendment that will allow the citizens of this country to bear arms for their protection.

It may be difficult to digest at present given the stuff we keep hearing / seeing about school shootouts in the USA. But I do believe that if the goon knows I may be armed - he’d think a few times before messing around with me!

The greater good - that’s what we’re talking about here!

Please go ahead and disagree......
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Singh is King

Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Maya, advani and poor karat,
Thought they had them on the mat
But the old man showed them his thing
Shut down the opposition without even voting
Tabhi to kehte hain- singh is king!
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Last minute changes!

Friday, July 18, 2008
I love surprises!
I hate last minute changes!
Yes - they simply turn me off - and then I react!
Earlier - I'd blow me topsy turvy - now i maintain a dignified silence - it's as if the troublemaker does not exist!!!
The womanly solution of hard rock silent wall works.... it throws everyone off balance - cos' then you become unpredictable.... I guess they don't like last minute changes either :-)
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Memory does not fail me!

Friday, July 18, 2008
It came upon me suddenly....
I felt the urge to see what had become of them... those young ladies that I had a crush on - once upon a time.
So I searched for them... and guess what.. facebook works!!
I can't name them here - cos then I'm gonna get beat when I get home, if I ever make it that far :-) No Names - No Dates - No Places. I'll be facing a court martial if I talk.
I haven't attempted contacting them - but it's nice to see that I can still remember their names and what they looked like. Guess what - most of them wouldn't even remember the geeky lil fella who sat somewhere around them and was always trying to be helpful. I recollect that I was never shy - but yeah I wasn't BF material either. I was kinda confused! Not that it got better with age. It took quite a few falls to realize how things were destined to turn out.
I remember this time a couple of years ago when Tina and I were partying with Vishal and he had a couple of friends from HBS join us (in Delhi). I was able to recall that one of them had attended the same Tution classes as me in 1992. I was also able to recall where he used to sit in the class and what kind of clothes he wore. Man - I really spooked him out.
Ok - the long term memory (ROM) still works!!
But the RAM (short term memory) fails quite often - esp when I have to remember something Supriya told me to remember. Why why why???

Coming back to the primary topic of discussion... the urge to recollect and remember.... hmm still wondering where that came from. Life has been rather good to me (in the strategic sense). I may have lost some battles - but I'm on my way to winning the war. And in order that I continue winning the war - I have to be a good reporter and never quote names - just some well informed sources. No dates either. Actually the safest option is to keep my mind shut. But like they say you can take a Mahajan out of Chari... but never the Chari out of the Mahajan.
So the memoirs shall continue!!

PS: Chari is my native village in the middle of Himachal someplace
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painfully yours!!

Friday, July 18, 2008
I've been down and out for this last week.
It's a funny kinda viral attack... makes me feel like windows PC!
Trust me - I don't like being unwell (who does) and staying at home with nothing to do.

I'm back in office today... so I thought I should have something to say... cos' nobody called to find out if I was ok....or not ok!!
Well I'm not ok that nobody called when everybody could have called.... somebody should definitely have called....
only sups...and mom.. and ma... and my lil sis from across the ocean... and my half gharwali.... everybody else forgot...!!


Well.. the fever has come on again... i had a sinful crow to relieve my misery but it ain't helping just yet..

This weekend looks bleak ... my life ain't what it used to be....
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Blocking a vent

Saturday, July 12, 2008
It’s a strange situation that i find myself in. Well - aren’t they always!!
I blog on a regular basis. Most times - he thoughts flow. It’s difficult for my typing to keep pace with them Then again just that once in a while - i feel the onrush but it’s like - gone in a blink. Before i can say jackrabbit - elvis has left the building!
Bloggers block they call it.

The block gets lifted and sunshine prevails!
I cannot stand stupidity. In fact I can very candidly admit that i see red when stupidity raises her/his bright little head. I see things life Mr.Karat & Co. blackmailing the govt on the Nuclear deal issue. I’m no Congress lover - but then this is like crap. We accept it as if this part and parcel of democracy - maybe in spirit - but not in the way things are being done today. I see folks who are penny wise and pound foolish - people who will quote ideals to save the proverbial buck but splurge on other wasteful stuff and leaving others perplexed. Then there are those who love to look at the GIFT HORSE in the face and ignore his presence. You can lead them wherever, but they’ll never recognize an opportunity. They talk positive and act negative. Line em up against the wall and reduce the burden - I say!

I see opportunities around me everyday - but I hesitate. The reason - well there’s just one reason - the clod on top. The youngster is manufactured from a special clay - that refuses to get moulded. Maybe someday he’ll be all grown up and all that. He goes through bouts of contradiction and generally suffers from an inferiority complex. I tried to help out - in the beginning - now I’m past caring! It’s just too much effort explaining things in their minutest of details to him. There are some tasks he’d given me - and true to my vindictive nature - I’ve just let them be - he constantly emails me / questions me - I play dumb gleefully! It’s like John who showed Rita the middle finger - i do it a little more subtly - the clod is my brother after all!
A friendly consultant advised me to get out because people don’t really change - I may adjust but never change. I listened and agreed to his viewpoint. But I let it lie there. I want to see how much I can actually take. The doctor says its not good to test this particular feeling - but I’ll walk the edge for a bit.

I’m doing my bit for my uncle and aunt and the debt I owe them. I’m also doing it for me - because I believe I have made a difference to the folks around me. The debt is not in monetary terms - more like deep seated respect and love - but the CLOD is a real test of willpower.

It’s funny - what started out as a rant on bloggers block moved onto an appreciation of the stupid mind and a catharsis of feelings that affect me.
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Can't stand a MAC!!

Friday, July 11, 2008
Got this from a friend of mine.....
He says he doesn't take a stance on this...
But I find that hard to believe....

I use a MACBOOK and I like it. I also use a WINDOWS XP LAPTOP and I don't dislike it.
There's just some stuff which is better done on a mac.....
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Hospitals etc

Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I’ve never liked hospitals. It’s just that my line of work that takes me there from time to time. A visit to the hospital to meet a doctor doesn’t strike me personally. There is an element of being detached which separates the pain in the faces of all those around me from the task at hand - convince the doctor that my products are the best.

I’m in the business of providing care for the critically ill. How reasonable is it to separate that caring from the real world commercial reality?

Today I feel different.

I was at PGI Chandigarh in connection with my aunts critical state of health. I’m close to her - but haven’t spent much time with her in the last decade and a half. Blame my career aspirations for that. So one can imagine that there’d be a certain gap - a schism of sorts.
Her state of health at this point in time ain’t too great. As I upload this to the internet - she’s under the doctors knife. Suddenly all that commercial crap seems so far away. I don’t care what brands he is using today. All that matters to me is that he better be careful and does his best. It’s no longer professional when one can accept a PERCENTAGE error. This is strictly personal and there’s no way anything less than the 100% will do.

Two faced me - maybe!
But i hope to god he gets it right this time ....
Maasi -we’re all praying for you.
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The Traveler & the Hunter

Wednesday, July 09, 2008
It’s a scenario that intrigues me from time to time.

There is the traveler making his way from point A o point B. He passes through a forest and encounter the wild wolf. He kills the wolf and continues to his destination.

Then there is a hunter, brave and wild at heart. He goes to the forest too. He seeks out the wild wolf and kills him.

In both cases a life was taken. Murder as we’d normally call it.

Rational people will debate that the hunter was evil and the traveler was not. It was an act of necessity for him. He had a destination in mind and the wolf was an obstruction in his path while the hunter was merely honing his skills.
I would agree with that line of thinking on most sunny days.
Today - unfortunately, dark clouds abound - so my skepticism gets the better of me.

I put forward the following point(s)
Murder was committed by both the individuals
Both did so as the need of the moment. I’m sure that when they came face to face with the wild, it was kill or be killed.
The hunter is designed to kill. The traveler (with our limited knowledge) was not. But he did.
The hunter killed for food. The traveler because he was there.
Would it be justified to kill something that came as an obstruction in our path. I call that unscrupulous behavior.

But all these points still leave me in a conundrum. Which one was more righteous? Was there any element of righteousness in the whole case? When does a traveler become a hunter or is it vice versa?
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Arjuns Tryst with the camera's Fan Box


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    Gurgaon, India
    traveling life's quaint paths and making my own destiny...

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