Crazy world... insane thoughts
It's like the title says...

1-2-3 Smile

Sunday, April 29, 2007
22nd April. 3 days into the marital zone.

It’s time to attend the reception. Mom had been running around for the last 5 months getting this organized. From the color scheme to the flowers, from the band to the menu – everything carried her trademark stamp of style!

With Mom-Dad!!

Sups looked gorgeous as I went to escort her from the parlor. She’d worn a pinkish lehenga with diamond jewelry – ooh she was a stunner (she still is – 9 days into the marriage).

mOM AND us!

We arrived at the venue with a grand fanfare by the band. Since we were the hosts, it came to pass that only mom and dad were there prior to us. Gautam, Tina, Vishal and Johnny were also there – well – they’re family… so no formality on that front.

We sat atop a stage – two throne like seats placed side by side. She had a glass of coca cola and me with some single malt – to get us thru this nite of smiling. Her heavy lehenga and jewelry of course prevented her from bending forward and doing the 1-2-3 bend routine.

(L-R)Arpita,Asha, Abhishek, Aditya, Anish, Arjun, Vishal, Rahul, Sups, Amrita, Ayesha,Kasturi, Alakshita,Johnny

Then the guests & the rest of the family arrived. And they kept arriving. It was like being a railway platform – where all the trains came – gave up a few passengers and moved on. I dunno if that’d be the perfect analogy – but it’ll definitely be close.

The photographer couldn’t get enough of us, even when we finally decided to sit down for a few morsels. He had a story to tell – I guess. My Blondie mama kept me supplied with the single malts as one of Sups uncles whisked her away from my side. He did take my permission though.

It was heartening to see the folks who’d traveled far and wide to grace us and bless us on this, our special moment in time. Friend, family, family friends, their friends too…

Sups’ Mesho offered to get her a set of towels too…. New brides need those he said.
Helps to keep the eyes clear and prevent floods, he said.

We got home a lil after midnight. We were tired and exhausted – all of us. It’d be an early morning departure for us for Goa. So the guys came home, came together one last time.

That's GT, Vishal & JOhn giving their last hurrraahhh for the nite!

I know it’ll be a while till we meet again – but I’m not alone. Never will be alone now. Sups is here!
Gautam & Tina with Bua
The coursemates from NDA gather together

With Aman, Vani & Anku - we're too pooped to get up!

With my Bua and family!

With My Bua, Bhabhis and lil neices

The band strikes a fanfare!

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The Wedding Day

Saturday, April 28, 2007
19th April 2007. Dawned nice'n'bright. There was a sense of
expectation in the air We had some pre-marriage functions prior to the
actual ceremony. First, there was the "SAINTH", then the "JANEHU"
(thread ceremony). This was to be followed by the "SEHRA BANDI" in the
evening prior to the actual marital bonding ceremony.
It wasn't all as easily done – as we'd hoped. The decorator put up the
tents, forgot everything else and walked off. Repeated attempts to
contact him from both sides failed. I set about getting things
arranged before sitting my backside down for the rituals. The weird
priest kept on with his intonatations, expecting me to follow suit. I
did, after a point. He started a fire going and had me pouring ghee
into that. The dang thing was so hot – I ended up singing the hair on
my knee – talk about getting a free WAXING done!!

Done with the fiery session, we moved on to getting me dabbed with a
mixture of herbs and stuff. This is the local version of the facial –
ensuring I stayed rosy fresh for the nuptials in the evening.

Now's the time when the jitters started getting to me. I was being
trussed up like a big hen!! Maybe not that close actually – but there
were lot of restrictions on me. I couldn't move out of the hotel. In
fact there was talk of confining me to my room, with a bodyguard too!

I survived. I also got my SEHRA on and reached the venue – where I
safely boarded the mare. She was ready and waiting for me – literally!
The band started and the family started their dance. I was not allowed
to dance – so I shook a hip on my seat. Finally, they condescended and
I was allowed to dismount and boogie for a few minutes before the
ceremony started. Supriya saw nothing of this. She was in her own
world. In her own words, she was being given regular updates by the
Child brigade. I'm sure she'd not have been able to dance, not with
the heavy sari and jewelry, the way it was. I was led up to the
wedding Mandap, my shoes placed in safe custody with John & Gautam. I
went thru some of the ceremonies briefly with the Bengali priest. Our
wedding was an amalgamation of the North and the East. Hence the need
for 2 priests who conducted things both ways and consulted as
necessary. The brief was simple – KISS ( keep it short'n'sweet).
Supriya arrived – ever the bride – an image I shall carry with me
forever. She looked breath taking…. So I took several – before saying,

We went thru the rituals like 2 robots – following instructions and
Isaac Asimovs laws of robotics – not inflicting harm on those who gave
us the instructions.
I also maintained a steadfast smile, so that the imagery recorded for
posterity – showed that I wasn't tense. I was – a lil. I'm sure she
was too.

The ceremonies ended – we took blessings from all concerned and bent
down innumerable times. In normal conditions people develop 6 pack abs
with that kind of workout. I just had a bit of tummy clenching pain –
which I bore without any visible change in my demeanor.
There was the whole incident with my shoes. We weren't gonna part with
them easily. Luckily the age gap between the 2 warring parties was
substantial – and in the interests of not showing us as younger than
we were – the shoes were given to the cousins on her side of the
family. I agreed to pay them too – the only catch was a kiss that I
requested from each one – on my cheek. We reached a compromise after
several minutes of haggling & near deadlock in the negotiations. I got
kisses from the youngest members of the group and my shoes in return
for a nice lil "cashy" envelope. I also got to take their sister with
me – as my wife!
As she herself says in retrospect – I get to keep her too. She's the
one who'll actually keep me and the home and the family.

We left the venue amidst heightened emotions and shedding tears,
reached the hoteland were promptly stopped at the gate there. This
time I had to contend with Tina, my sister, my bua, bhabhis and a host
of ladies. Further haggling ensued and I was 5 digits of cash lighter
before Supriya and me were allowed to proceed to our room.

I checked the room for pranks – but my night vision failed me and I
didn't see the intruders before it was too late. Nope – nothing
actually happened – although they claim otherwise. They came out in
time to give us a few blushes and also saved us a lot more. I owe
Vishal and Asha a few pranks for the future. Things could have been a
lot hairier if Vishal had gone ahead and lain TOPLESS on the bed …
hairy one that!!

All in all an interesting day – and that's where this discourse must
end. The rest of history, as they say – must remain a mystery!!

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The last day….
The longest one too!!

Here I am, sitting the Security Check area of the Delhi airport.
It’s 5 AM and we have a flight to catch…. Kinda like the flight of destiny!

This is it.. all guns are loaded and the safeties are off!!
The next two days mark a MILESTONE in my life. I’m getting married J

So I’m dressed in BLUE.. cos’ I’m feeling all blue…
Tina & GT are dressed up to go to Hawaii!!

It’s way before his normal waking hours – so he’s been singin songs since we bundled him into the cab. It started with a deep voiced rendition of Vande Matram – the original song of independence!

Now we wait...
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4 days...

Sunday, April 15, 2007
4 days of color!!

4din ki chaandni!!!

So we had a small religious ceremony to get us started. It was a small fire ceremony – called a HAVAN… not heaven, not haivan…. That started things here.

There was a Panditji… and there was the family.. the immediate & close family only.

I personally thought it was a drag – but then that’s just me!

We had a small song’n’dance session thereafter – which was more my idea of enjoyment and getting married.

I respect others’ religious beliefs – so I play along for the sake of it when I really really have to. Oh I’m religious – just not ardently so. There are things I believe in and will go the ends of the earth to get. Being overtly religious isn’t one of them. My beliefs lie within me. I don’t impose them, talk about them, or share them unless I have to. I also resent things being thrust down my throat.
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The home stretch

Sunday, April 15, 2007
5 days to go!!
The countdown is nearing the end of a long and arduous stretch.
Let's just say we're into the home stretch now. Many a game of cricket has been lost here.

Luckily there's no cricket happenin here... Trust the team to guarantee that.

But it's nice to see people arriving finally... my sis is here from HK and so is Gautam.
I was up all early this saturday morning - the last one of my bachelor life. I was determined to make the most of it.
And so WE did.

After loading Tina onto Mom, Gautam and me headed out to do some serious clothes shopping. Yes, my aparel collection was still incomplete. So we traversed the length and breadth of the Mall road, in vain, in the simmering heat!!

Finally, a trip down to Connaught place helped us locate the right bit of clothing for the AASHIRWAAD ceremony (aka engagement - 18th Apr).
We've even managed to do a lil color combination with the Bride!

Then a trip to my fav watering Hole in CP - RODEO.
Here we encountered some pretty pretty women.... Anku, Asha, Rash and surprise of surprises - Rajiv and his betetr half, Shirley!
So another session of gossiping and remembrances ensued. We all ensured that Gautam was bored to death.... and drinking an alcoholic concoction called - LARA NE MAARA; Anku preferred POLLOCK GOING ON & ON, while Asha and me stuck to DHONIS SLAMMERS!! She did try FLINTOFFS FAVORITE, but then realization dawned that not everyone is supposed to enjoy a Margarita!

Everyone talked of how my life was about to change.
Yes - I know!!
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7 day week

Thursday, April 12, 2007
Considering I have a week left - lemme get philosophical.
I was just exploring the concept of the 7 day week.

Why is it 7 days??

The first thing to understand is that a week is not necessarily seven days - I thought as much!!

In pre-literate societies weeks of 4 to 10 days were observed; those weeks were typically the interval from one market day to the next.

The 7-day week was introduced in Rome (trust the Romans to finger around with everything) in the first century A.D. by Persian astrology fanatics, not by Christians or Jews.

The idea was that there would be a day for the five known planets, plus the sun and the moon, making seven. (Interesting Logic - though it should an 10 day week by that understanding - not 11 as you are thinking -cos we are already on 1 of the planets)

Then there's the whole concept of a "creation week" as espoused by the Bible - the narrative consists of eight divine commands, or fiats, executed over six days; days three and six each contain two commands. This is followed by a seventh day of rest.

First day: Light is created ("Let there be light.")

Second day: The firmament of Heaven is created.

Third day: Land appears, separated from the waters, and named.

Fourth day: Lights are created in the firmament of Heaven, appearing regularly, aiding time-keeping. Two particularly large lights are made, the lesser one the Moon and the greater one the Sun.

Fifth day: Air and sea creatures are created, including "great sea-monsters" or "great whales". They are commanded to be fruitful and multiply.

Sixth day: God lets the earth bring forth Land animals, and God calls them good. Man and woman are created in God's image. They are told to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it." Humans and animals are given plants to eat. The totality of creation is described by God as "very good".

Seventh day: God rested, and blesses the seventh day, and sanctifies it.
Ideally speaking - 7 days from now I should be resting.....
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Skipped No.9

Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Well - yep - 8 days to go.
I skipped no.9 - which incidentally has always been my lucky number!!
So I didn't wanna chance it!!

A week + 1 day = that's all the time I have!!
It's not that I don't have other time - it's just this feeling deep inside of me - something that is hard to put into words.

It's funny how everything is so tightly strained at this point in time- like a guitar on edge. A small "TWANG" and the full orchestra is ready to play.
Hope there ain't too much TWANGing in our case. A lil bit here'n'there can't eally be helped... I guess :-)
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Monday, April 09, 2007
This was also a film!!
A multi starrer too!!
Good music.... and I like Abhisheks acting too!!
It's sad that he had to pop it in the end.

Anyway - coming to the point - 10 days left - only DUS din!!

This is the time that a bit of insecurity creeps in... it's nearing the finish line.. really really close... and don't want another someone to win this race

Akshay Kumar - well he tried....
Luckily my true love & Supriyas taste in good clothes won out!!

So folks.... we're still on track for the April 19th Wedding!!!
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A Decade & 1

Sunday, April 08, 2007
Yoo Hooo - 11 days to go.
Dang - never even realized that we're almost into single digits now!

Then....they came home.. my grandparents... and my aunt... and my bhabhis and my bhai.... and my lil neices.
They all came and reminded me that there's just 11 days to go.
So we had our first quasi -religuous function today. A small ceremony..cos' my granps can't make it to Kolkata for the wedding.
All Smiles - Mom,Dad and my Bua
That's me - with my parents on on side and their parents on the other.

Female power - the ladies of the family(currently). Only my sister, Tina, is missing from this one.
All preparations are on... someone is preparing a dance, so someone is preparing a song. My bhabhis are planning to take my trip royally - during the wedding - this is payback time I guess. I had a lot of fun at their expense during their wedding.
They don't seem to approve of my proposed wedding attire - so I might even have to do a rethink on that front.
Me - i'm just planning to lie back and enjoy the ride.....
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Double Sixer

Saturday, April 07, 2007
Yep - 12 days left for the double whammy comin my way!

Actually it's more than a double whammy!!

So this is the time to make merry and have lots of sherry!
In fact my pal GT is comin down on the 13th night.... that'll ensure we get 2 high octane filled days on the XBOX before the marriage.
We're pretty kicked about that.

Then there is the whole issue on the bachelor party.
We definitely need to have one - still looking for ideas - in fact here will be more bachelorettes than bachelors at that party....hmm..... this sounds interesting.

Then there's the gang that'll make it to Kolkata for the wedding. Ooohhh 18th night beckons... a final night of revelry there!!
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Friday -13

Friday, April 06, 2007
It's Friday now.
13 more days.
That tear in the space-time fabric is expanding. Soon it shall encompass all.
I wonder what Calvin & Hobbes would say about it.

The brain does play it's tricks.. every once in a while!!
Well luckily my shopping is mostly done. So everyone gets off my back for a while. I've got a few crazy schemes and pranks still up my sleeve. Will set them in motion during the last week. Nothing too dangerous - but definitely requiring a sense of humor - to appreciate.

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2 weeks and counting

Thursday, April 05, 2007
14 days to go. 2 weeks of bachelorhood. 336 hours of wondering what the rest of my life is gonna be like.

Suddenly it ain't about me. the 'm' in me just got inverted into a 'w' to produce a we.
That's exactly what is going to happen - the world as i know it will be turned on it's head.
I'm trying to get a handle on both - the macro & micro views here.
I had 29 plus years to solve this puzzle, to get my answers correct. But here i am doing 11th hour research. I'm not really having anxiety attacks here - but it's like entering a triangle , the triangle - like the one they have off Bermuda. It's giving me a displaced view of time and space. Something inside of me tells me that the trip to Kolkata is gonna be like a wormhole....

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Ek chuhe ki maut

Sunday, April 01, 2007
(the death of a rat – literally)
15 minutes to midnight – the stalker arrives…
She is in deep disguise!! She scampers across from room to room,
disturbing utensils, breaking stuff as she goes. She is searching for
food. Food that is not hers to begin with – but that, which she deigns
is good for her tummy anyways.

She is at C-38 now – ah – these folks have a wedding planned in the
month ahead.. lots of sweetmeats are available. She's had a run of the
house for as long as she can remember… these humans are simply
incapable of catching her… and what's more she watched all the Tom and
Jerry cartoons – they're never gonna catch her.
Jerry always wins!!

Umm – not today though!

She's stuck in something.. yecchhh – this feels like glue – never
really liked eating that anyways!
She tries moving her feet – first one, then another. No luck with
either. She looks up to see 3 beaming faces and a bright light –
shining down on her. Is this heaven? Far from it actually – the
terrorized have become terrorists! She's in hot soup.
Time to die – this rat is goin' down!!!

Well they aren't cruel people – so they aren't going to kill her. So
she is trussed up in a plastic packet and finally sent packing – from
the 3rd floor window.

Inquilab zindabad – finally some peaceful sleep!

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Arjuns Tryst with the camera's Fan Box


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