Staring at the open door
Wishing someone would come in - or the very least close it for me.
The outside is bright and shiny. It is dark in here.
It is akin to a tunnel and its accompanying ray of light that beckons forward.
The pain has aged by 1 month yesterday. A month to the date that she cut me loose to go her way. It has been a month of aimless wandering on my part- sometimes here, sometimes there.
I tried everything to take my mind of her. But nothing seems to work. Our communication lines are still open. It's only the nature of communication that has changed.
As Diana Ross said, "You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you the golden dream. You've got to get out there and make it happen for yourself."
I try- sometimes too hard - sometimes not at all. But my feelings don't seem to be taking me anywhere.
Her latest SMS - "I want you to stop this. Keep dreaming, keep thinking or not thinking whatever, but please don't message me these things anymore. Please."
I have to stop myself from analyzing this else the head - poor head - he gets screwed up.