Crazy world... insane thoughts
It's like the title says...

Heart of Darkness

I have a dark side. But I am strong in the force. So the light prevails.

A woman I know - she talked of seeing my dark side. She said it was all pervasive and once someone got close enough, it dominated. I listened to her in silence, an impassive face I wore. It's not easy to say these things to another human - unless the emotions are extreme. Love and hate - two sides of a coin; quite interesting perspectives both!!!

This has not really been the best of my weeks. Health issues apart, my major failing has been relationships. Someone sees my dark side and walks off or someone calls me a drunk and walks off. I'm literally left staring at the sky and wondering what it was that hit me. Let me be honest - I do think both the girls were just that - girls!! I'm feeling extremely vitriolic at this point of time and just feel like lashing out. A count to 10 accompanied with some deep breathing should sort things out for the short term.

The issue still remains. What did I do wrong? They were close friends - or at least that was my perception.

Case 1: Calls me out of the office. We stand on the road. She tells me we're going no further. Se offers no reasons and I ask for none. I walk back to my seat in a daze and begin to wonder. Then this same woman comes and gives me this whole feedback about my dark side - especially after - I stay away from her - no talk - no eye contact for almost 5 days. I mean who the f*** does she think she is - Aura reader!!!

Case 2: I'm at a friend's wedding - an hour ago. I call up a friend and ask what she's up to. I thought that was a general kind of query. She asks where I'm at. I reply with the answer. I tell her I've had a few drinks cos' it's a marriage cum cocktails cum dinner. She acts real weird and tells me I'm drunk. So I say - OK, we'll talk tomorrow. I missed 2 calls since I was with the lucky couple and voila - I've been branded brain dead - with no hope of salvation. She acts weird, writes a few stupid SMSes and ends with a "I don't wanna be in touch" - like I care!!! I care enough - only to write about it. And to think that we call such women - cosmopolitan.

My sister thought both the cases were quite hilarious and we had a good laugh together. Then again - another point arises - it was about the choices I made. We are responsible for our choices and the consequences involved. You cannot be a perfect judge of character - but try and be close - cos' women will remain women (and so will men).

Life goes on. Here's to a new beginning!!

4 comments:

Yups...that's the way it is. Take my advice and just leave at being friends. The more u try to understand ppl, the more it will intrigue u :)
Just stick to ur guns...tell ppl what's the fact. If they believe u, then it's good...if they don't...too bad for them. Don't try to resolve and ponder over issues that are beyond your control.

The problem is that a lot of ppl tend to take others for granted and are not sensitive enough. So, don't feel too bad abt it if ppl act wierd or judge u. Probably they are going through some bad phase in their life.

On a brighter note, relationships r not too tough.
And the dames who misinterpreted u, just say "khalli wali" :)


Thanks Jo.
That was hekpful


I agree with jo on most of what she said except that like they judged you, I urge you not to judge them. Remeber its the same people whose company you longed for some time back. Just a case of different personalities, if you want a reason. The more reasons we try and find, the more enigmatic such issues become.

As far as I know you, the only thing I want you not to do is to become vindictive about things. You dont produce any action out your vindictiveness, but it will only kill you.


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