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Showing posts from 2006

The To-Do List - 2007!!!

Oh boy - 2007 is almost here!!!
I always have a to-do list that I make each year... and maintain in a personal file.
This year - it's online. :-)
So here goes...

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while I walk, I will smile.
2.Sit in silence for at least 30 minutes each day.
3.Get more sleep.
4.Get married.<>
5.Live with the 3 E's. Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy.
6.Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than I did in 2006.
7.Spend more time with people over the age of 60 & under the age of 6.
8.Be a good listener and supportive husband!!
9.Dream more while I am awake.
10.Drink lotsa Bacardi & plenty of water and eat apple pies, steaks, broccoli, grapes & mangoes.
11. Try to make at least 3 people smile each day.
12. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out credit card.
13. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
14.Blog everyday
15.I will not forget that I am too blessed to be stress…

The long journey

Life is a long journey.
It starts in the mind (someone else’s) and moves on to the beginning. It is a lonely road for most of the part. There are bits in the middle where fellow travelers give us company.

They come like gusts of wind.
We – like the leaves on a tree. The wind blows us in many directions. Control is not the word that comes to mind at that point of time. The gust is too strong for that.

Then suddenly it’s gone.

The leaf – that we are, falls to the ground. No longer do we have the support of our tree-brother. He watches us from afar and we wait till the next gust of wind blows us closer.
Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t.
2 minutes of fleeting fame... then darkness again. Alternate cycles like day and night. That’s the wild life!!

There is an alternative. You can choose to be a potted plant. You receive nourishment and care. You are firmly attached to your roots. The elements and their gusts are not your headache. No alternate cycles here – just keep the lights on for a…

rage around

you'll see it all around you.. i do!!
the anger is palpable... it makes me tremble sometimes....

do venture on the public transportation system in in the Delhi-Gurgaon sector twice a day ( one way - 2 hrs) ....

it brings to the fore - certain feelings that I'd like to keep dormant... the urge to bitch-slap the mother-fu***** who wants to step all over me, the guy who thinks he can cram his fat ar** into a set for 2 when two of us are already sitting there.

the sign says "no smoking" - but he has to puff on his beedi...

the need to abuse atthe slightest irritation - fu**it - you are not the only one who has had a bad day....

i do believe one of these days - i am gonna seriously do some kick-ass talking - literally!!

Yes - I am angry. This is not the cathartic experience I was hoping for.

Awaiting Destiny

This was written last friday.. before Supriya came to town....It turned out just right!!

It’s an early Friday evening…. Barely past 9 on the night clock.
I’m home – sipping my breezer spiked with some rum.
The folks are downstairs – busy with their daily activities.
Dad watches the news as mom serves dinner. Tina is busy clearing her plate, waiting to go back to her place.
There is an air of restlessness…. somewhere….

We re all waiting!!!

Supriya is coming tomorrow…
I’d love to say that only I was awaiting her arrival. But things have changed. We are now a larger family – 3 members more… 1 in a more direct manner of speaking. Ma and Pa are still in Kolkata. I’ll see them at Christmas. 3 weeks to go for that one.

For now – we await Supriya – my destiny… our destiny.

She doesn’t have a clue how she’s changed my life. I am no good at expressing it to her. 28 years of obsession with oneself is melting away – one second at a time. Some call it maturity. I call it the “S” effect!!

I think of not one –…

shopping time....

So much of choice!!!
One poor damsel - in distress - cos' nothing seems right
The poorer "Knight in not-so-shining armour" waiting .... yeh trial room ka darwaaza kab khulega???

Sh** on the face

That's what some of us really deserve.
We erect big statues - out in the open - to honor those that have led us...
These big erections are exposed to the vagaries of nature - we're ok with that. Birds come and perform excretions on the heads of our "ESTEEMED" leaders - we're ok with that.Some stupid ass goes and puts a shoe there - we go to town killing each other.
Is this what we've become - 60 years after independence....?

I don't blame the politicians.... they will take advantage wherever and whenever they can. I don't blame the poverty stricken youth who have no other outlet for their repressed anger.

I blame myself... I blame you - the "educated" youth who do nothing to stop this. I blame the intelligentsia of this 1 billlion strong man-machine for not getting it's footwear right.

We're a bunch of losers - no wonder - we get our asses kicked!!!

Yes - as some of my friends have pointed out - this is strong.. we need some strong medicine…

Casino Royale - a must watch!!

I watched Casino Royale on Friday night. First day - night show!!

This is one heck of a film. It flows with energy. James Bond (for a change) is a man capable of mistakes, capable of getting hurt, and he's strong. Yep - those muscles actually ripple...
Daniel Craig is good. I mean really good. All my initial skepticism was replaced with respect for this versatile actor. He's got a lot of emotional depth and a dark side too.

They've switched from the earlier special effects intensive films to this - a more believable version. This is a film that downplays giimckery in favour of meat and substance.

The Bond ladies do not disappoint either. Eva Green is an eclectic mix
of beauty and brain. She would do better he she hammed a little less.

Last word:
This is the real thing.
Go and watch it.

As Calvin says...

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available.
Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise.
And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads.

I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!

Marital jitterations

holy crap.. i'm getting jittery reading all these marriage jokes......

Shaadi par wife boli: Aap mere PRANNATH aur mein apke CHARNO KI DASI.
Shaadi ke baad wo ho gaya CHARANDAS aur wo hogayi PRANO KI PYASSI.
meri to soch soch ke hi vaat lagreli hai baap!!

What is Marriage?
1 year:-Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye rahaNaJaye.
2 year:- KINETIC-Sabki hawaNikal de.
arrey the marriage is still 5 months away....

Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
I know some things will change....

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
Someday we will argue like this too

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
I have sinned…


The reason they call it the American dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.... :-)

I couldn't help but note this from George Carlins book titled "BRAINDROPPINGS".

Just think about it - at some level - this man has hit the nail on the head. Some of the PHOREN craze has died out now - I mean it's not as strong as it was say 10 years back. But still I see youngsters - eager to get out of India for the world at large. Why don't they go to Africa or South America (other than to watch Samba) ? Why is it always US of A??

Maybe they need sleep....

Being Myself

I am me.
Call me arrogant... call me me a cold block of stone.
I really don't care.

For the present - my world revolves around me.
Making you happy - makes me happy.
I see that smile and I start to smile. Somewhere it all comes down to that last point about being happy with oneself.

I am happy in my committed state. I was happy when I was single. I was also happy in the relationships that I had.

I did what needed to be done - what worked for me at that point in time. If in the process, people said I was being flexible or attentive or caring and loving - so be it.

I gave and I did not expect - something a wise man taught me when I was younger. So I don't carry scars.
I can meet any of my past girl friends with a straight face and clean mind. When I screwed up - I have said sorry too.

Someone told me once - you're empathetic.. yes I am - because it made me feel nice to be close to someone. Empathy and understanding helped me make a friend.

When I would get back home the…


Supriya and Me...
our ONE online pic :-)


Think about it - we call Mahatma Gandi - desh ke Daddy (aka father of the nation)
So Pyarelal - her brother and secretary to MrMKG was the original MAMU.. everyone can call hum uncle. He is the first UNCLE of the nation!!

Wonder what Munnabhai would say to that??

The Tattoo

I thought about it.
Then decided against it...!!

First I pay the guy
He gives me pain.
He draws on my body too..
Then I realize it's not washable!!

If I wanna remove it... again I pay the guy.
again he gives me pain...!!


Have you evr paid attention to the large volume of information flowing around us - in the form of radio waves???
It's there - right now...and all the time!!!

If We were to start counting the sources..
FM radioAM RadioVHFUHFCellphonesFaxesShortwaveTelevisionSatellite transmissionsTV transmissionstelemetryradarthe government - the military - the police- the media...Zillions of elements adding to the air pollution around us - stop blaming the poor factories all the time.The poor "air "- just imagine how busy it has become of late...All this wasn't around a 100 years ago - jus6t imagine how peaceful it was?

Is it fair?

Yes - There is a right to equality enshrined in our constitution.

Yes - injustice towards the fairer gender is still highly prevalent.

Yes - we need litigation in the civil arena - rather than restrict it to only the criminal arena - an act targeted towards Domestic Violence is essential!!

But this is a little over the top. I personally, have the deepest respect for women - but I am not in the mood to accept lying down - a law that is not balanced.

The Act covers women, be they wives, live-in partners, sisters, mothers, mothers-in-law or any other woman relation.
The new law protects them against:

Physical violence
For example: Beating, slapping, hitting, biting, kicking, punching, pushing, shoving or causing bodily pain or injury in any other manner.
Sexual violence, including against children
Forced sexual intercourse
Forces you to look at pornography or any other obscene pictures or material
Any act of sexual nature to abuse, humiliate or degrade you, or which is otherwise violative of your d…

Saturday rambling

I hate working on Saturdays.
I hate admitting the fact that I'll probabaly be doing it for at least the next decade.

Saturdays are not made to be worked on.

But i'd rather sit at my office desk than be pushed around doing household chores.
I'd like to spend my saturday under the palm trees, swinging in a hammock as the light breeze blows, drinking beer reading my book or playing computer games. I could even be amenable to doing shopping (just once a year - around my birthday) if I didn't have to pay the bill(s) and we kept the dress trials to the trial room while I checked out the latest in gadgetry.

Saturday evening is strictly party time - booze,dance & Just the One woman (Ha ha - you thought i'd write something incriminating here) Alternately - we could do a movie once a month ona asaturday evening with just the two of us - and the candle light dinner to follow.. but that's a maximum of once a month!!!

Everything we do in relationships has some kind of payoff …

Stop thinking - Just write

So I read a lot about what my fellow & feline bloggers write.

I like reading their ramblings.... some wild..some outrageous... but they somehow help take my mind off the daily chores that life throws my way. They write as it flows....

I do my bit of writing - I too, write as it flows - but try as I might - rambling doesn't come easy. That only happens when I try replying to Amandeep and Vandana at the same time. They'd look at me and play that serious "know it all" look and I know - it'd be time for Arjun to shut trap.

Today I was given a whole big lecture on caring and sharing. Yeah yeah my marriage is due for April... so mom and dad make it a point to drill some sense into me. I asked them if someone had said the same things to them. Apparently their generation had more maturity... so they say. I'm possssive about my books,my DVDs, my gadgets... hey who shares those... those are a part of my space...

My fiance has told me not to put her name in any of my wr…

Putting Acronyms to life

If only we could.... abbreviate everything we did...

As life turns out - SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage

This girl I met one time - BTDTGTS
Been There, Done That, Got The T-shirt

The QA Team (wherever you go) - CYA
Cover your ass

Going in for a review meeting - FYSBIGTBABN
Fasten Your SeatBelts It's Going To Be A Bumpy Night

Playing GOD sometimes - IMHEIUO
In My High Exalted Informed Unassailable Opinion

Watching Baywatch - IWSN
I want sex now

How it turns out - JAFO
Just Another F***ing Onlooker

The Politicians we meet - LOPSOD
Long On Promises, Short On Delivery

Love You With All My Heart

When I'm talking - MIHAP
May I Have Your Attention Please

If I were Bisexual - NTTAWWT
Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Rita Tiwari - PEBCAK
Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

Some Kids today - SNERT
Snotty Nosed Egotistical Rotten Teenager

Stuck at work - ZZZ
jeezz... you don't have to be a scientist to get that one

Raising Atlantis

This is not a philosophical post.
It's about a book I read today.

Authored by ThomasGreanias, this is one edge of the seat thriller - right upto the end. Maybe I'm a sucker for such mythic Sc-fi thrillers.
But this one delivers pumped up adrenaline as promised.

It makes a good read if you're familiar with the legend of the lost city of Atlantis. This fable - deeply etched across most of our ancient civilizations is resurrected once again.

If there's anything common about all Atlantean tales - it's the use of the Pyramids of Egypt, the lost Mayan civilization and the mysteries of the areas around the South Pole as a means to explain something beyond normal comprehension.

The author goes to great lengths building up the characters, blending in multiple storylines and providing a heady mix of scientific fact coupled with folklore and prophecies of what might be.
It's his first novel - and rest assured - I'll be buying the next one when it comes out.

Stepping ahead

I keep treading the path that's laid out for me - shaped as it is by Destiny!!!
It'll be interesting to see where this one goes.

This is not my seat - it's my brother's cabin - who also happens to be the director of the company.

The DOR of our lives

That's hindi for string.
A string which when strung, connects and binds.

It's also the name of a film that I was fortunate to watch this weekend.
Directed by Nagesh Kukonoor (Hyderabad Blues, Rockford) and starring Ayesha Takia, Gul Panag and Shreyas Talpade - I thought it'd be a bore. This despite Avinash's claims to the opposite.

It is quite a film and everything fits in quite effortlessly.
Ayesha is no longer the bimbette of her earlier films; Gul is a revelation and Shreyas proves that Iqbal, his first film wasn't a fluke.

The story revolves around 2 young couples - from different worlds. They lead two seemingly different strings of life. Then the weaves of time bring these 2 threads together to create a situation that is difficult to describe. One man is dead. The other is accused of the crime. His wife must find the widow and seek her forgiveness which will spare him the capital punishment. It's a complex situtation.

How does one approach the ber…

Beat that!!!

Yes - That's pure adrenaline, pure excitement!!! And it's running wild!!!

intensive scare

Sitting in the intensive care lobby of the apollo hospital, every second feels like an hour.
There is something about hospitals that scares, disarms and leaves me helpless like a leaf in a storm. The effect is all the more pronounced when it's a near & dear one who is suffering. In this case it's my pa. His is a heart condition which required a major surgery. That's done now.
We've been here for over fifteen days now. A few more days they say. But it feels so far away.
Friends and close relatives provide solace. Yet it doesn't do anything to lower the hearts pace.

Burnt bridges

Friends all tried to warn me
But I held my head up high
All the time they warned me
But I only passed them by
They all tried to tell me
But I guess I didn't care
I turned my back and
Left them standing there

All the burning bridges that have fallen after me
All the lonely feelings and the burning memories
Everyone I left behind each time I closed the door
Burning bridges lost forevermore

Somewhere, this song rings a bell - a big church bell.
I should listen to my friends more often!!!
They only mean well :-)

In absentia..

Life - as it is - WITHOUT A GIRLFRIENDYou can stare at any Girl....... ( actually we do it all the time - no matter the marital status)You don't have to spend money on her.(you can always go dutch)You won't get boring result in ur papers. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves . ( but then you're constantly lusting for the hot babes with the cooler guys) This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them (…

After the sunset...

Shahrukh Khan and Preity Zinta... hot stars.. great chemistry onscreeen....

A chronology of their on-screen love story ....

Her first film.. their first together.
They are engaged to be married... Manisha intervenes and love story goes bust

They fall in love again.
He has a congenital heart defect... dies before anything useful can of it

An epic love story spanning 22 years... he keeps silent.. she does too.
They are united at an age .. when sunsets are all that's left of it.

They are actually married in this one.
I presume they did the sunset walk prior to the marriage.
He finds Rani... marriage breaks... no so happy ever after.

They say true love mean - walking off into the sunset... hand in hand!!!
All their films would beg to differ!

Obviously these two need to do a film... where the happily ever after .. happens at the right time.

Bonds that bind

Ties that are not necessarily of blood.. yet are stronger than that..

If I were a movie

Erotic Thriller
You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you.
Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you.

Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The CrushIf Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Your Monster Profile
Merciless Cannibal

You Feast On: Hot Dogs

You Lurk Around In: Corn Fields

You Especially Like to Torment: VegansWhat's Your Monster Name? This is scary..huh

Hitch unhitched

I watched "Hitch" again. That film never ceases to amaze.
Every viewing throws up some learning.

First time:
Will Smith is the hero - he is supposed to get the heroine.. he is honest - so he does.

Second time:
No point in planning anything fancy. All plans fall by the wayside!!
Be aware of the need to feel miserable - as Albert puts it. Then tell her.

Third time:
Be aware...
Be honest...
Be spontaneous...
Then jump off the cliff... cos' if you believe that she can make you fly..... you'll never drop like a stone!!

The adventures of Pappi Singh

Picture this:
11PM on a Saturday night.
The location is Ricks at the Taj Mansingh in New Delhi.
All the glitterati are there.

Enter : Pappi Singh in pink and white. Mrs. newly married Pappi Singh is also with him. She’s in white and pink.

She proceeds to sit in a corner and catch up on some yuppie conversation. He heads to the bar and loads up on Margaritas.
The music is loud, makes you wanna shake a leg and you look around. Nobody else seems to be dancing – they’re looking for someone to start.

Arrive PJ : “Pappi Jackson” (aka pappi Singh with double margarita)
He proceeds to show us all the moves. They form a big circle and he boogies in the middle.

Our gang has christened him EPS : energized Pappi Singh ….. Some of his friends (males) join in the circle and we now see him in a role, later known as GPS: Gay Pappi Singh.

Mrs. Pappi Singh has had enough….she enters the fray – her man is hers – not another man’s. We now see the HEP avatar, aka “Hyper excited Pappi”. They do the boogie very well…

A new challenge

Approaching new challenges - with ambition and patience.
(Yeah - i know the patience bit doesn't come across too easily in those eyes)

The next Move

Where to???

The question

Almost a month... nothing to write home about.
In some ways i've had an uneventful month (damaged knee included)

In more ways than i can express, things have changed.
I know myself now.
I now what i want.
I know what makes me whole.

All i have to do is ... get to Mumbai.. and ask her.......

The weaves of time

"The wheel weaves as the wheel wills" Those are not my words. They come from Robert Jordan in his epic series, "The wheel of time". The story of good versus evil - already spanning 11 novels and growing. I hold those words very close to my heart. Our lives are but threads in the pattern that is woven with time. Sometimes we can choose the intertwining of that pattern. Other times we are drawn into it, to be woven as destined. The Wheel of time turns, and ages come and pass leaving memories that become legend, then fade to myth, and are long forgot when that age comes again. The circle of clife goes on and we rarely remember that which we have been through. If only we could. Then the learning would not go to waste.
I look at the threads of time - of the threads that have been interwoven with mine for a while and then gone their own way. I used to grieve when threads went astray.
Today I accept it, as a part of the pattern.
For a little while, the pattern weaves its way ar…

Building the army

The demands of war ( the kind of work we're doing right now - justifies the term) on both the leader and the army are quite different. To engage in true military conflict I see the following points to be kept in mind. They have to know they are an army and I am the generalAwareness that there is an enemy who is a danger to the entire ecosystem :-)Readiness to die for the cause. (This is not the literal intention)But it's like I'd tell my boss - "You want loyalty? Get a dog."So why should they be ready to die for the cause? And what if that cause is me?

Burning the midnight oil

Tired...exhausted...befuddled.. that's my current state of mind.

I'm writing in after a long time - almost 12-13 days. It's been awhile.
The reason being the never- ending work deadlines that i've been trying to mee over the last fortnight. It's not been easy. And except for a few - i missed most.

There's only so much that is physically possible. I tried more than that. Gave it my best shot.
Got my team to give it more than their best shot. They say your sins catch up with you. So a case of "not up to the mark- project management" comes back to haunt me.

I hate being second best. I play to win. Then again - a general is only as goood as his army.
It's not about how many people are on my team. Sometime they're an army. Sometimes they are not. It depends on the task I guess.

Catching up with Mary M

I got to see it he first weekend that it was released in this country. The film is definitely a must-watch. No questions about that.. It is a faithful representation of the book. But as they say – “never judge a book by it’s film”. The truism holds true for this adaptation too.

The Da Vinci code was written first, as a book – to be read and re-read. The film- an accurate visual depiction fails where the book excels. The statement on history and it’s implications. The priory and their customs – we imagined them over and over. These become passing scenes in a film where mystery is laid bare.

The actors earn their pay ably. Tom hanks as the middle aged professor with a penchant for history. The very French Ms.Neveu and Silas. Silas’ passion is something that I got from the film. His intensity is definitely worth the watch.

Somehow – I came away from the film with a disappointment. The fact is that expectations reduce joy. Maybe – it’s difficult to recreate the enormity of the situation onsc…

Pensive mulling

Putting the pieces together!!
Clarity in the fog
Lights in the distance


I went numb - as the luggage & me along with it - were thrown out on the road. Every word I said - no ill feeling did it contain - but it only got me a whacking - something unexpected!!!

She is a nice girl - but today - she was ony fgood at talking down to me. If at so late an hour my temper is frayed - I did keep it from her. But all I got in response was - goddamn!!!

I should hate her for it - but it seems like I've given her the right - so bear it I must.

Continued from the last one...

Despite the rising cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular!!

Sepia returns...
The heat gets stifling. She grabbed a hold of me and we moved off the dance floor. The balcony it was. Dark eyes, shining orbs that light up my day - gazed in my direction. The match happened and an embrace ensued.

"Get you b**tts in here people, he's kissing the bride". A slight embarassment - more depair as the embrace broke and we returned to the ehated room. It was true. he was kissing the bride. He had a right too. She was after all, his son's wife. A late marrage at the age exceeding two score. thre journey to true love had been long. It had been longer in recognizing the feelings for what they were. She was a patient lady holding on to the thread of love till it culminated. She was a tad younger than him - also a bit on the wider side - especially when it came to the smile.

This was one happy family. She held my hand and looked askance. I looked back at her and replied…

Revisiting Memories

We move on from my last post on the occurrence of Deja Vu. Humans have a tendency to seek out a place for the Second time ... as we understand "Discovery" again. So many things - unchanged - right there, where they'd been left... untouched. A stationary table, settling dust, footprints in the dust, as the sunlight creeps in from the broken ventilator. A half-empty bottle of rum lies on one side , two glasses , where we'd left them. Her lipstick still glistens on the glass rim as it lies onits side. Some good memories return and the room lightens up. The sepia toned flashback starts and the laughter echoes. Hearts bat faster and the energy starts flowing afresh. We were here a few months ago - not so far back in the past as you would imagine. The room was full as the warm bodies moved in & out of it. Light Latino music played - its melody lost in the din that was us. The music stops awhile as an announcement is made and the champagne flows. We stand in one corner -…

Deja Vu

As an adult, I have often known that peculiar legacy time brings to the traveler: the longing to seek out a place a security time, to find deliberately what we stumbled on once before, to recapture the feeling of discovery.Sometimes we search out again even a place that was not remarkable in itself- we look for it simply because we remember it.This place need not be a geographical location on the earth's surface.It could well be within our heart.Whst happens when we find it?

Thrashing out issues

Arguments happen between even the happiest and best-suited couples. And so they should.
Nothing like a good row to clear the air and let off the steam.

But don't bust the pressure cooker - that's all I can say. Thgen i began to wonder how that was possible. It came down to a few points that would work for me...

1 Don't lose your temper. Yep- even during a row -it would be a good idea to take a time out rather than strike out.

2 Personal insults won't help. It doesn't mattre that he/she is a nicompoop. Don't tell em that. It takes the focus of the issue on hand.

3 Stay focused on the reason. Need I say more.

4 Force yourself to stay specific. Don't start the - you never do this or you always do that thing.

5 Don't say 'I hate you'. Remember - you love the person.

6No Alcohol and arguing.

7 Don't interrupt. Listen & speak.

8 Don't end up arguing about arguing.

10 Say sorry when you need to. It won't hurt - actually!!!

Then it's tim…

Is it true?

This is something about girlfriends that comes to mind. Wonder what they'd think about it?Would she ever manage to be friends with the woman who was my first partner?Would she like to help me choose her surprise gift?Did she ever wanna marry george michael ?Would she ever tell me if I wasn't good enough?Would she stalk me, given half the chance?Is she offended if another person is wearing the same perfume as she?Does she like being lifted off the ground ?
(i know this display of affection has been flogged to death theatrically -but I hope it works)What would she do if ex-girlfriend relics are discovered in my house?Am I allowed to be good friends with all her friends - gender no bar?Does she believe in Valentines day?

Civilization - the word

At the very basic level - the word civilization has a definition. Loosely used, it'd talk about an area, group or period. These parameters would be distinguished, in the mind of the person using the term, by striking continuities in ways of life, thought & feeling. There was a term that I ran into a while back - collective self-differentiation. This is as much a verb as it is a noun.
Those groups of people having progressed from the Verb usage to the noun application are termed as civilized. Somehow - this word, defies a clear definition.
Come to think of it - it is easier to define “a civilization” as compared to “civilization”.“Has it ever struck you - that civilization's damned dangerous?”

Tell me why

Lead me on…don't tell me where - just hold my hand.
Take me someplace - where you smile; that's my destination.
I close mine eyes to see you smile.
Pull the blanket closer - to feel your embraceBut you're not there.
Just a memory & a hope.Destiny is like a river - it chooses for itself.
We, our affairs - merely rocks that choose to change the flow.
So it is not to be - the way ahead, as we'd ordained.I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do - about you now.
It's official now, that the fires are out - burnt embers remain. I attempt to gather the pieces of this heart. Too many to start counting or putting back.
One jigsaw puzzle - that I will document and leave for posterity. Maybe someday - you'll tell me why!!!

A month - I remember

Staring at the open door…
Wishing someone would come in - or the very least close it for me.The outside is bright and shiny. It is dark in here.
It is akin to a tunnel and its accompanying ray of light that beckons forward. The pain has aged by 1 month yesterday. A month to the date that she cut me loose to go her way. It has been a month of aimless wandering on my part- sometimes here, sometimes there.
I tried everything to take my mind of her. But nothing seems to work. Our communication lines are still open. It's only the nature of communication that has changed. As Diana Ross said, "You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you the golden dream. You've got to get out there and make it happen for yourself."
I try- sometimes too hard - sometimes not at all. But my feelings don't seem to be taking me anywhere.
Her latest SMS - "I want you to stop this. Keep dreaming, keep thinking or not thinking whatever, but please don't message me these t…

Pride of India

This is something I saw on my vacation last week, in Mussoorie.
I always believed it - now it's a fact!!!

The text in Hindi(vernacular name) - says ARJUN!! What say folks???

Jokes apart

I promised myself that I would be strong.
Behind that tough persona - lies a vulnerable heart. It hurts.So I have decided to keep my feelings within. That which is not to be expressed - will no longer be expressed. Tina says I shouldn't be so expressive. It only gives away the feelings within. Warm feelings and cold atmosphere makes for a corrosive mixture. And you thought Sulphuric Acid was bad!!!A mouthful of sky - that's all my heart ever wanted. I really haven't asked much more than that. A prayer for the living - a prayer for me - all I want is a prayer.
Sometime prayers remain unanswered… until the time they're supposed to be heard.
One day - the prayer will be mine - when the temple bells ring and the vermillion powder fill the narrow confines of mindspace. Till then… the thoughts shall remain confined.

Complex Women

These things happen - when time is at hand - there is loads of work to do - but better sense prevails.

Trust me - the response from both sides of the fence has been quite interesting.

Yeh sab asatya gyan mat failao prani...!!
Men are more complicated than women.
(now this is age talking)

women are complicated...just teh way men can be a wee bit dense and insensitive at times...:-)
(this is experience)

As the saying goes "Behind every successful man there is a woman." the male in the cartoon would have never known that he could come up with something as brilliant as this had the female responded to his questions in the initial attempts :)
(Deep thought being applied here)

(umm... left us speechless on that)

Well ...............I think men should be sensitive to the fact that women are sensitive................................:)
(very very sensitive...)

The female walrus/seal has a point in being offended I say!

RAJIV - in response to ANKU
As the saying g…

Something to write about

Always looking for something to write about.
That's us - the blogger community!!

Today I have loads that to write. But I will control this impulsive heart.
It will be a good practice, moving forward.

This has been a period of surging emotions, some dead ends, some dark tunnels. But most importantly - I see the ray of light. As darkness turns to day - so also this life - I am happy!!!

No more the musings of a tortured mind desperate to escape the anguish of life. Life is here.
Right here, right now!!

"What's in a name?", so spoketh Billy boy (william shakespeare to the uneducated). A name like a prayer, a prayer for the living, so they may live - happily !!!
Jeez - I'm a total give away.

I'm quite sure - i'll have loads to write about, soon.

Deep Observations on Life

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." Received this from a friend. Someone sure thinks right!

Heart of Darkness

I have a dark side. But I am strong in the force. So the light prevails.A woman I know - she talked of seeing my dark side. She said it was all pervasive and once someone got close enough, it dominated. I listened to her in silence, an impassive face I wore. It's not easy to say these things to another human - unless the emotions are extreme. Love and hate - two sides of a coin; quite interesting perspectives both!!!This has not really been the best of my weeks. Health issues apart, my major failing has been relationships. Someone sees my dark side and walks off or someone calls me a drunk and walks off. I'm literally left staring at the sky and wondering what it was that hit me. Let me be honest - I do think both the girls were just that - girls!! I'm feeling extremely vitriolic at this point of time and just feel like lashing out. A count to 10 accompanied with some deep breathing should sort things out for the short term. The issue still remains. What did I do wrong? Th…

A touch of sensibility

Every once in a while - yes - every once in a while - there are events that put you at the crossroads. I don't know if I'm at a cross-road; sure feels like that, though. OK - I accept - I am emotional, impulsive and follow the celluloid screen with a passion. But, let's not forget - that there's more where that came from.There was a film called Baghban - it redefined my views on the parent-child relationship. I knew why I was wrong and the things I'd have to do to set them right. I'm not all the way home as yet - but I've made a start. I'm back in Delhi with the folks. Years of staying apart have changed me - it's not easy being all nice again! Then there was Astitva - a film on the right to independence - man or woman. Space and acceptance are two very important things in a relationship. Why are things different for a man and a woman? The young ladies that I meet - fail to understand that I can think in a manner contradictory to conventionally esta…

Pain @ Rs.30

I hate paying 30 bucks to travel from Okhla to Kalkaji. It's like 7-8 minutes of travel time and the buggers fleece you like it's nobody's business.Then there is the pain of being - at the Head Office - as people - heads in the air - look upon us lower mortals.The vegetarian lunch also costs 30 bucks @ work. It's a costly option for an upset stomach. More pain. I need to go to mcdonalds and get a happy meal - that's the only thing that may cost sub-30.

6 things...

6 things that I don't do any more
Live with the folks - though they're just a few blocks down.
Drop anonymous valentine cards in the Mail boxes of beautiful women
Go on a drinking binge - very characteristic of the Engineering college
Aggressive behavior - that's just the age
Put gel on my head - the receding hairline
Crave for company - I'm not so bad by myself6 things that I like (MOST) about women
The smile
The maternal assertiveness
Intelligence - although this should not be generalized
Inner strength
They are life givers.. a fact that none can deny
They understand me!!!6 things that (I'm sure) she hates about me
Switching off and withdrawing into my cocoon
Sometimes I talk too much
The twin vices - Smoke over troubled water
I don't express it - every time (although it's right there)
Not getting her viewpoint sometimes
I can shed tears when in an emotionally charged state - in reel & real life!6 to dos in the next hour
Say, “I love you to at least 6 people” (Family in…

The Valentino Fever

Yes –it’s that day again – 9 months to go for children’s day – the results will be there for all to see!!
Just kidding. (Jeez – no pun intended there!!)

So what plans for the day – that’s the question I’ve been answering for awhile? Me – I’m a simple guy – no hang-ups. So I’ll just go for lunch and come back to work. The question is with whom? Who would endure me for 90 minutes of lunchtime? I don’t stop talking (if I get started) and then boom – kapok – world goes topsy-turvy!!

So why 14th February?
The question has been around for sometime now.

Is it like – we’re welcoming spring and all the good boys, good girls and not so good people (AKA Shiv Sena & Bajrang Dal) get together for a day out in town. Paint it red – so to say.

Or maybe they had an excess production of Roses – so the marketing managers – used this as a ruse – to offload the excess production at excessive rates. This is kind of possible!!

Let’s not forget that there was a gentleman by the name of Valentine – a saint says …

Canine Learnings!!!

You would learn stuff like...When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory. Take naps and stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout - run right back and make friends. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
And MOST of …

Frittering thoughts

To no one in particular... I don't have any problem - right now. So why am I thinking about it? Must be that risk mitigation that I keep practicing at work... rubs off on the way I live my life too.Maybe someone can do something about it.(actually nobody can - I just put that here to get you started thinking) Maybe u can guide me. I mean - it's worth a try.
Just a few thoughts that crossed my station. A lot of ups and downs. Right now I'm on an up - shouldn't really be worrying about the downs. But thatwhat you gotta do to look at things before they come to you. Paranoia is the word that comes to mind here. Just have to come to grips with the fact that things always balance out at the end. That'slife.
Memories remain for as long as we want them to. They help us go on as we move through the morass of life's activities. Remind us of what was, what could have been and then why the proposed solution didn't come through. Jeez - there I go - sinking into my Job agai…

What winners do

This something - winers do - after winning - especially in the lottery!!!
I picked up these happenings as i browsed the net at a lottery site Just by chance a winner's girlfriend checked his trouser pockets before she put his jeans into the washing machine and found a jackpot winning ticket worth around £1.5 million. Three lads who were out on the town were refused at a nightclub because they did not have shirts and ties. They went to an all night Tesco and bought some new shirts - with the change they bought a scratchcards and won £20,000 - they celebrated all night in the nightclub! Edwin Thrasher was stony broke before he won, and one day he touched the ring that his father left him when he died, and said, "Dad, please send me some money." That afternoon he won £50,000 on a scratchcard. A winner went in to a car showroom on his way back from picking up his cheque and entered a competition to win a car, the model of which he had always wan…

Ab tak chappan

56 years of the Indian Republic...!

I'm only half that much.

But it seems like an eternity - for those who've seen this country evolve. Do we understand the meaning of being a republic? It's something we learned in a civics lesson in a school a very long time ago. This generation and the one before it too - we've all gone soft! Look up the word REPUBLIC in most any dictionary. Most likely, you"ll find that a "republic" is a "government of elected representatives". This is a deliberate deception. I have an Enclycopaedia Britannica, 11th edition. This work provides the proper explanation. First it says that the idea that a republic is a government of elected representatives is a "notoriously modern interpretation". The article continues, explaining that historically, a Republic refered to a government in which the soverign held authority granted by the people and ruled according to law.
The early Nehru dynasty followed that rule as we remained…

I am because I choose to be

Yes -I create my feelings and am responsible for them.
I try to control them in a positive and purposeful way (not always - though), as i attempt to better life.
Friends (and a few wise men) say that it ain't right to blame another person for your feelings. It gives that individual control over an important part of your life. If you avoid taking responsibility for your feelings, those feelings can quickly overwhelm you and leave you powerless. This is similar to the Negative feelings I had for an ex-Lady boss of mine. She's far away now - but any thought of her - brings to the fore - a multitude of expletives. So in a way i'm a slave to something - and that ain't doing me a world of good!!
It's common knowledge that the way I feel affects every corner of my life. So it's time to take charge and not let go.
When it comes to making a choice - I know that every feeling is One I have chosen.
I may not be a soothsayer - so I dunno what else is gonna happen - but I do k…

Expanding my perspective

When you focus only on yourself, you severely limit your options. ( I must stop thinking of ME as a focal point of attention.) When your thoughts are centered only on you, those thoughts cut you off from a whole world of possibilities. (Yes - I agree - thinking about others increases the possibilities of me doing more useful stuff around the place)
It's all too easy to become frustrated, disillusioned, angry and bitter when your own perspective is the only one you consider. Your own narrow concerns can seem painfully overwhelming if you give all your attention and energy to them. (It's definitely important for me to look at things in perspective -others'. It's like putting yourself in their shoes and then checking on whether you'd do the same things again. The fact that there are possibilties will enable my thinking to be more creative)
Pay attention to the concerns of others, and you'll gain valuable insights that otherwise would not be available to you. Think, act …


People afflicted with a morbid, irrational fear of Friday the 13th.... Oh there are quite a few of those around!!!
The sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to date from ancient times, and their inevitable conjunction from one to three times a year portends more misfortune than some credulous minds can bear. Some Links to Friday the 13th Superstitions
Link 1
Link 2So if you get fired from your job today, or smash up your car, you can blame it on Friday the 13th. Superstition, provides us with an excuse for explaining away our mistakes and disgraces. In other words, it's an easy way to rationalize the screw-ups for which we ourselves are ultimately responsible

But if you're scared - wait till Monday!!!

Accepting my limitations

I can't do everything. Nobody expects me to - either!!! It's important for me to know what I can and cannot do Some things are in my control, and there are other things that are not. There are things that I can change, and there are other things that I must simply learn to live with.
I 'm trying to start accepting what I cannot do, so I free up much time and energy. This can be focussed in the direction of my success. It's not easy being at peace with the un-doable. In fact, that very fact gnaws away at my existence. It makes me feel not up to it. A lesser man - sometimes!! I could waste my time and energy complaining that the ocean is too deep and wide. Or I could build a boat and sail across it.
Achieving self awareness is a good start!!

Still I persevere

So if you read my last blog entry - Mumtaz is dead - has been for 375 years!! But we - or at least I, intend to find my Mumtaz.
I may not build her a Taj because I wish that I never had to live a day longer than she.
She will inspire; she will love; she will strike; she will engage; she will mother.
Her visage will enchant and calm.
Not for me the ones who drive a man crazy.
Shah Jahan married thrice - Akbari begum, Fathepuri begum and then Mumtaz Mahal. A fine example of 3rd time lucky.
I don't want to marry thrice and then get lucky. Knowing my luck - I'd go broke paying the alimony on the first two wives. Who could afford a third??
I take comfort from the fact that I've met several women, a few ladies and some girls. Life has taken me down many a path that I remember and deliberate the chances of success had they been pursued with the passion of the Black stallion. No regrets however - this is not an article in black!!
I visited and ran a check on the name - Mum…

Does Mumtaz exist today?

It's quite a valid question. I sit & ponder.
What was it that got SJ (Shah Jahan) to do his thing - I mean - build the Taj Mahal (TM).

A woman who gave him 14 kids in 18 years - only 7 survived. They must have gone at it like bunny rabbits - anytime - any place !!!
So in a matter of speaking - it is quite an impressive tribute to their monumental achievements...

Did you know that SJ wanted to make a replica of the TM in black marble across the river in what they call the Mehtab Bagh today. It came across as queer why anyone would want to make something in black. Then the Yin - Yang symbolism struck me - how black & white balance one another. There is a balance to be maintained - especially between the male and female of a species. It could also be something to do with the power of black - the symbol of death. As black symbolizes death it is also a natural symbol of the underworld and so also of resurrection. Unexpectedly perhaps, it could also be symbolic of fertility and even…

Endless tasks!!!

So much to do

I have so much to do that is seems overwhelming.
I need to stop thinking about how much there is and start getting it done.

Feeling overwhelmed is merely a state of mind that I have chosen.
And just as easily I now want to choose to let it go.

A new day, a new month, a new year dawns and it makes me feel like time is quickly slipping away.
But in fact, time comes to me just as quickly as it moves past.

And that means that each moment I get the opportunity to make a difference. Each moment, the best thing I can do is to make full and meaningful use of that moment.

That is how I will get things done. Moment by moment, little by little, small tasks build into great accomplishments, and accomplishments build into a life with real fulfillment.
I don't have to tackle everything all at once. Just do what I can, when I can, filling each moment with positive purpose and action.

And what once seemed overwhelming will quickly become a source of real and lasting fulfillment.

Or so - a wise…