Crazy world... insane thoughts
It's like the title says...

War and Peace

Thursday, December 29, 2005
There are no winners in war - and then when peace arrives - there are only pieces.
Pieces that need to be pieced together again.
I wish 2006 is a year of Peace - peace in the world around me - peace inside of me.
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Thoughts on the way home

Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Robert Frost composed awesome poetry when he penned down - Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening

I read this once in class X cos' it was a part of the syllabus.
Then I realized that I kinda seemed to remember it more often than the others.

Yesterday as I sat in the Cab on my way home - it struck me again.
It's like the life we lead - stopping and starting - but always going on.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
We like to think no one is watching over us - that we are alone.

He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
The moments that make life worth living.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
My mind looks askance - what is it that you're waiting for? There's no one here. Why the decision to stay and mull? Does it miss the beauty of the snowflakes idling downwards? The Heart stays quite because he has all the answers.

Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
When there is no hope...

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
We question ourselves, question our directions, our goals, our relationships. We question our faith. Do we need to ???

The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
Silence pervades. But Iam not alone. I have you.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
Oh Temptation..... lead me not down this path....

And miles to go before I sleep,And miles to go before I sleep.

The never-ending story - the circle of life - call it what you want.
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Santas Gifts

Monday, December 26, 2005
Well-Christmas comes around every year!
Same Date too. I have a demand or two for the Old man at the north pole, each year. Never seem to get Santas gifts the way I want'em. Still I try - even reverse psychology when I think it'll work.
Getting aggressive is one part to it. Putting the other guy on the defensive is another. I mean - it'll work in the short term - never seen it succeeding in the bigger scheme of things.

Too much knowledge can be dangerous - or as would be a better form of expression - that which is not explained could be hazardous...

How far will a man go to get what he wants. What principles will he adopt (or forego) to get that pot at the end of the rainbow?

Yes - there is no gain without the ensuing pain. Sacrifice is important.
But one sacrifice alone may not be enough - you have to persevere.
That is the key.

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Just a gust

Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Corruption. Corruption is our protection, corruption keeps us safe and warm, corruption is why we win.
( after India wins the Cricket world cup - actually uttered in the film "Syriana")

Yeah, well, what's life without a few dragons?
( as I contemplate Project Deadlines - actually uttered in the film "Harry Potter 4")

It's not like I try to blow things up!
( Osama after 9/11- actually uttered in the film "Harry Potter 4")

Hell is overflowing, and Satan is sending the damned to us. Why? God is punishing us. You have sex out of wedlock. You have man on man relations, same sex marriages. How do you think your God will judge you? Well, friends, now we know. When there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth
( People complaining about their Boss- actually uttered in the film "Dawn of the Dead")

No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!
( How to write a blog- actually uttered in the film "Finding Forrester")

For the first in my life, I wanted what all wise man say can't last; what can't be promised or made to linger any more than sunlight. I don't want to die without having felt its warmth on my face.
( True Love- actually uttered in the film "First Knight")

Good to see you Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence.
( Life as it is when the Dude arrives- actually uttered in the film "Never Say Never Again")

If you must resort to violence, then you've already lost
( In war, there are no winners : so let there be peace- actually uttered in the film "Rising Sun")
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69 Boring Things About Me

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
(cuz i'm not creative enough to think of a different format)

1. I'm from Himachal
2. I live in and hate Delhi
3. I'm not married
4. I have no kids
5. I don’t drive
6. I am an Engineer and an MBA – soo very boring – I thought this’d be at No.1
7. I love loud music
8. I fucking love to talk
9. And saying "fuck"
10. I love getting driven really fast
11. My right leg just fell asleep and is all tingly
12. I love sci-fi movies
13. I have been in love 5 times – that’s Love!!!
14. I went to sleep outside my door one day in August
15. I need to get a tattoo
16. I love friends like family
17. I feel things deeply. too deeply sometimes
18. I love the moon
19. I love the ocean
20. I love experiencing new things
21. I love meeting new people
22. Sometimes I act drunk when I'm not, because I enjoy life so deeply
23. I love mommy and daddy and Tina
24. I love taking long walks.
25. I love the taste of beer
26. I lost my virginity at the age of 19
27. I lost my girl friend 6 months after that – because I didn’t lose it to her.
28. I am not bitter about the way things turned out
29. I am restless
30. I am a dreamer
31. I am a daydream believer
32. I do what I have to to get things done
33. I miss my friends at LG & LB
34. I was a good student, had no enemies, many friends
35. I wish I’d dropped out of college and started Microsoft
36. I love thunderstorms with lots of lightening
37. I love rain
38. I hate shallow people
39. I am shallow sometimes
40. I am a virgo
41. I was never a perfect employee
42. Sometimes I suck really bad at being a son
43. Sometimes i resent being me
44. I love running
45. I love dogs
46. I love climbing mountains
47. I love using my brain for really good stuff
48. I love guns
49. I love bubble baths
50. I love champagne on ice in bed
51. I loved my first girl for 2 years before she ran away
52. I was physically beaten for the first time when I got to engineering college
53. My first job was as a Projects Engineer
54. My last job was as a Project Manager.
55. I love dessert-- mostly consuming
56. I love eating in general
57. I love shopping in super markets
58. I love dancing
59. I have never fully recovered from my first broken heart even though it was sooo many years back.
60. I have some regrets in my life, even if i'm sometimes ashamed to admit that.
61. I have naturally falling hair
62. I love reading
63. I wrote in a journal every day--without fail--from when i was 18 until i was 20.
64. I blog at least once a day`
65. I hate narrow thinking, closed-mindedness
66. I am generally not interested in politics
67. I love orchids
68. I love ..yeah .. just love
69. Yeah, i love that...
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What's your Humor?

Sunday, December 18, 2005
Doing a bit of heavy reading on sybols and their interpretations over the weekend.
Bumped into the Hexagram - no - this is not witchcraft !!!

A hexagram is a 6 pointed Star, composed of two overlapping triangles. One pointing down and the other at the sky. This is a symbol you'd see in lots of places - across cultures. It is traditionally interpreted as the combination of the "watery" (cool) female and the "fiery" (hot) , male. These two signs coexist in the universe following the universally accepted principles of duality (good-bad , yin - yang : those are a separate story though). You'll be able to view this symbol on the flag of Israel - so it's also known as the Star of David.

Further reading revealed how this sign comprising the 4 vital elements came to be known as the sign of totality. Indian mythology too, carries what we'd know as the Yantra - a series of Triangle pairs inverted to one another

Coming back to the symbolism in our lives. We go about our lives in a mundane manner. These symbols are always in front of us. Yet - how many of us have actually looked up at them and critiqued. We are neither believers - nor doubters. We are simply Zombies.

Our lives - as those of our ancestors are guided by the 4 elements. We are unbalanced - lacking one or more, with an excess of the others. With a theory based on that of the four elements, health was thought to depend on a balance of four fluids, or humors, in the human body:
fire corresponded to blood;
air to yellow bile;
water to phlegm; and
earth to black bile.

We still say that people can be in a "good humor" or a "bad humor".
So what's your Humor today?

A few associations that come to mind.
fire - red - sanguine, sturdy, optimistic
air - yellow - choleric, jaundiced, , anger, ill natured
water - green - cool, impassive
earth - black - melancholic, sad, depressed

I look for meaning in the smaller things that happen around me. Sometimes a simple smile sets things right and sometimes the achievement of a goal leaves me incomplete. A warm handshake builds trust while years of working together may not inspire the same. One moment is sometimes enough to know the person in front of you , while sometimes an entire lifetime may not suffice.
I wonder what we'd have to do to balance out our lives - live it in equality with the world around us. What humor works for us?
Answers anyone??
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What is wrong with me?

Sunday, December 11, 2005
There's definitely something wrong.

I don't know what - can't put my finger to what. The only thing I know is the WHO -it's me.
No amount of looking elsewhere will help at this point.
  1. I am accomodating. Extremely so. Then I end up getting hurt.
  2. I listen to the voices around me and take cues from them. Why?
  3. I talk a lot. Sometimes too many people know a lot about me. My extrovert nature lets me down. Then I make a fool of myself.
  4. I'm emotional more than I'm practical. The poor heart takes quite a pounding there.
  5. I go into a self-accusation mode when things don't turn out as envisioned. Then the depression starts building on me.
  6. My Intution is very very strong - but only for the things that don't work out. I knew it yesterday.
  7. My face is not for playing Poker. It gives away my emotions. Happiness & sadness - both!!
  8. I look to the lord when things go wrong - not for help or solace - just to tell him that I'm still around. You can throw whatever you want my way - I'll take it and come back for more. I won't stop as long as the lungs can handle it.
  9. I've made my life into a roller coaster- enjoy the crests and mope in the troughs.
  10. Everybody has trials & tribulations. I have solutions for everybody else. Just not for me.
So here's the deal - I'm a lonesome cowboy and that's the way I'll always be.

Some people are explorers looking for the Holy Grail. NOBODY HAS EVER FOUND IT TILL TODAY.
Then again some of us aren't meant to be tied down.... :-)
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Prick it up...

Sunday, December 11, 2005
No - this is not what you're thinking!!

Shakespeare has, "Tis now the prick of noon", in allusion to the mark on the Sun dial - made by pricking or indenting with a sharp instrument - that indicated 12 o' clock.

Did you know - the annual choosing of the Sheriffs in ancient England used to be done by the king - who pricked the names on a list at haphazard.

Ever felt like calling anyone a Pricklouse - an old contemptuous name for a tailor!!

Ever sang a Prick-song : That's written music for singing, as distinguished from music learnt by ear.

You've defintely had a Prick of the conscience , as you feel remorse and guilt for the past misdeeds. My conscience is always pricking me :-)

Somehow the one that I know best is when it's time to Prick up my ears and pay particular attention to follow what's going on. This is similar to a horse whose ears start twitching when it's attention is attracted.
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Being Thankful

Thursday, December 08, 2005
Sometimes I just look up and say Thank You, to no one in particular - so I address it to the lord.

There are so many reasons to be thankful and too few to cry about.
Yet, we always ask the lord - "WHY ME???"
We never ask that question, when we're doing good.

It's so rare that we remember to appreciate the good things that happen to us. I am not sermonizing at this point in time - just trying to understand why?

WHY do we always remain ungrateful?
WHY do we always say - FOR GOD'S SAKE ? - when the only sake we think of is our own?
WHY do we forget our childhood innocence and grow up to become stuck up individuals?
WHY do we partke of an Education, when it undermines us?
WHY do we overeat when there isn't enough for all?
WHY do we suffer when we know we don't have to?
WHY do we miss people when all we do is fight when they're aound?

Why am I still racking my brain for the answers? Maybe you'll have some...
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Monday...I'm in Blue!!

Monday, December 05, 2005
So I'm not suffering from the Monday Blues.
Not this Monday at least.
The week begins and opens up opportunities @ work & in Life.

I'm only wearing the color :-)

I do believe this will not be as busy a day as I'd hoped for. And again I have my reasons for getting home as soon as possible- today. Someone is coming!!!

My training will commence tomorrow. That will be interesting.
At least I will be able to putin my 10 cents of value somewhere.
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A tree starts off

Friday, December 02, 2005

Every Tree starts as a plant.
So started this.

This one has travelled from someone to me - from Mumbai to delhi - through extreme climate & a lot of shaking around.
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Abnormally normal

Friday, December 02, 2005
Are we normal ?
I mean who are normal people ?

This is quite like the dodo - only that the dodo is extinct and the NORMAL tribe is getting abnormally small..closer to the dodo!!
Normal guys write blogs like this..
(I don't know Mr. Rauf - but his blog helps me understand him.)

A normal guy is the one who throws things at you,a normal guy screams at the TV after a dropped catch. He doesn't cry himself hoarse about how great he is. You just know it.
Oh - some normal guys also watch Star wars... and believe they're Luke Skywalker reborn.
I do believe - that the only personality I'd match would be Hans Solo.

Normal guys are not saints. They're the obverse.
But we get lost somewhere in the materialistic world and just forget life's simpler pleasures.

It's so easy to smile and keep it on.
Like Vrinda just emailed me - start smiling and then go out into the coolllld Delhi morning. The smile will freeze up and you can wear it all day long.

Innovation - wot say folks?

Coming back to being normal. So, how many normal people (Guys & Gals) do we know?
I know one - my dad. Yes- he's normal. At 56 he's normal.

I'm 28 - yet feel abnormal!!

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May the force be with you…

Monday, November 28, 2005
I can always put feelings to paper. When I feel something – the writing, the words – it all just flows.
A friendly voice advised me to write – detaching myself from the feeling of it. It didn’t make sense then. But as I pondered it over – a deeper realization dawned.
We all make a difference – some for the better, some for the worse (always relative). I presume I do things right – actually it could be wrong – try the other persons perspective. Raise yourself above the normal plane and then look at the issue. Forget about who is winning or losing. Understand the needs – winning might not even be a need.

Put yourself in a parallel universe and watch this one go by. I’d like to play God someday – why not today? Transporting oneself to another dimension doesn’t actually happen – it’s only about using the force inside of you and seeing things from a higher (if I may so call it) plane. It’s like Master Yoda would’ve said. Focus and let it come from within.

Now that the helicopter view has been established – what does it show me?
Well, the world is getting by – without a worry about what I do or don’t do.

I am a thread in the Wheel of time. We all have our individual threads – which get entwined for awhile – then move on. Sometimes they persist for a longer period. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. Our destinies take us places – enemies become friends and vice versa.

On a daily basis we shift gears, moving between the management of life and it’s transactions. Transactions happen on a daily basis. They’re the basis for the larger picture – like tiles in a mosaic. So very often – we lose touch with the bigger picture as we struggle to put the tiles in place. Our lives get so caught up in the momentum of the workplace that we neglect our lives. The desire to rise becomes our motive to live, rather than the opposite.

It happened with me too. I would spend 16 hrs in office on a daily basis at work. Never ate on time and didn’t sleep too much either. All that my parents had instilled in me, seemed to be going down the wrong pothole. Then I met a few people – not saints in their own right – but each who spoke few words individually. Collecting those thoughts and integrating them to form a decision matrix – I decided to change. I’m still not back on the right path – but knowledge and self awareness is the first step to setting things right…
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I miss..

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Yes , I am a sentimental fool.

I miss the good times and the people with whom I encountered them.

I miss the beaches of goa, the evening sit downs at Marine Drive , the long runs in Priyadarshini Park. I miss getting high and walking from VT to Churchgate - singing aloud!! I miss the hearty lunches at Mahesh lunch home.

(L-R) Lydia, Reshma, John, :-) , Paulette & Tony

I miss the all night dancing with a beautiful lady on me arms. I miss the quiet sunsets of Madh Island - staring into the horizon with just one thought - how does one preseve this moment forever?

My Life has traversed a long path in the last 28 years. I would not be able to remember all those I miss. But i thought it would be a good thing to try. The hits and the miss(es)- oh I really miss some of the miss' who walked alongside me from time to time. I wonder if they ever miss(ed) me... I miss them for no particular reason - other than the fact that sometimes I wished I had them around. Life would be better then.

So here no particular order...of those people with whom I have lost touch!!

D.S.Sudha - studied with her for 2 yrs at DPS RK Puram. Her birthday was 11th Sep - and hence unforgettable!! She was the class topper types and did her Engineering afterwards. I met her a couple of times after school finished. Even bumped into her on a Valentines day back in 1998. We were good friends during the school days given that there were 46 guys & 4 gals in the class. She left for the US for her Post Grads & vanished someplace.

Anshul Gupta - another one of my friends from DPS. We were the thickest of pals and kinda did everything together for those 2 years. I met him 4 years later after our engineering courses on one of his trips to Mumbai. He runs a Fire-fighting sales co. somewhere in Faridabad. We met that one time and never again. His birthday is 14th Feb & again very easy to remember.

Raghav Ramdev - this is a blast from the past. Raghav, Siddharth & myself constitiuted the Campion school quiz team, way back in 1993. Our Claim to fame was the semi-finals of the All India Limca Book of records quiz in Kolkata. We never got to the finals - that is another story though. He was a quiet boy, bright in academics and extremely soft spoken. We had a quiet understanding and were pretty good friends at that. He's gone missing since 1993.

Siddharth Rastogi - this guy was an all rounder, kinda like Adam Gilchrist if there could be an analogy. Great at sports, good leader, intelligent & part of the IN crowd. I never met him after school, but kept a track of him. He completed his engineering - followed it up with an MBA from IIM. Wonder where he is now?

Paras Bairoliya - a fashion designer today. He was the guy who designed Virendra Sehwags outfit for his wedding. This guy was a creative brain charming all the girls at school. He hailed from Shillong, spoke an accented english - that sounded quite Western, was good at observing the female hand :-) He was always a designer, drawing dresses instead of solving Physics. He got thru NIFT, Delhi in 95 , when we were all trying to enter the IITs & Roorkees. Always knew he'd make it someplace BIG.

Mayura James - One lady for whom I have searched this entire webspace, silently. She was my first crush - back when I was a 14 year old and she a year ahead at 15. I knew her as my fathers boss' niece. If I were to stand and ask the lord fr one thng today -it'd be the opportuity to tell her how I felt back then. She was and i assume continues to remain the most beautiful girl I have known. She also had the most pleaseing personality one could encounter. She had the ability to catch the eye of every male & female in a room at the age of 15. SHe always said she wanted to see me in a Tuxedo - oh that she could give me a chance - again!!

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Getting home!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2005
Home is where the heart is.
This may be a cliched line - used one too many a time.
Yet, I believe in it.

I got home today. The journey was eventful and interesting.
I had very good company. Raghav, Vrinda and yours truly had a lot of reminiscing to do. We also had a lot of conversation on the road ahead. How much would Mr.Gates help us there?

The upshot of it was that the train departed as scheduled at 1740hrs. We were on the platform at 1540hrs - a good 2hrs in advance. The time was spent quite usefully in admiring some of Gods creations.

Poor Vrinda did get a lil bored - cos our attentions were elsewhere. But then she had a good book to read. And a good book, especially one that details the posiibilities of awakening the SUBCONSCIOUS MIND, is better than CONSCIOUS Conversation... wot say V??

We (actually I) sent a sneaky & sarcastic SMS to the Bombshell at work.
"we're having loads of fun. r u ??"
She knew I'd sent it. She drafted a very polite reply and sent one back... detailing how the definition of fun changes with individuals.
Let sleeping dogs lie - so I did - not wanting to aggravate the situation in Bihar - beyond control. As it is Poor Lalu had lost the election there. His Bihari flock would not like being pushed around more than was necessary.

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It hurts to say goodbye

Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Yes - It hurts!!
Not akin to a pin-prick, more like a dull throbbing ache that fills me up.
Options - I have none - now!!

The decision was made sometime ago. Now it's execution time.

This last year has been quite eventful. I got a lot of warmth, care and affection from those around me. This was not limited to the people who came into my work area.
Memories will linger for a lifetime and I will treasure the year spent here.

Some moments bring a smile, some tears and of course there are those - which elicit a hearty laugh.

Thanks a ton all of you... :-)
I'll miss u
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The wrong falling!!

Friday, November 18, 2005
Someone - a wise person (actually) told me I have 2 failings (amongst the many that are not so evident)
1.Falling for the wrong women
2.Seemingly impulsive action

The latter observations can be discounted as superior thinking - my point of view. Let me tell you about point number 1.

First lets identify the wrong woman. There's nothing like a wrong someone. It's just that me & she didn't match. Self pride doesn't permit usage of "wrong" for oneself. Hence the term wrong woman. I could be wrong though.

I am attracted towards members of the opposite gender. So i'm alright in the head& heart.
I find it easier to interact with them. They're so much more in synch with me. I'm attracted to lots of things about them - intelligence & looks being the primary ones.

My attention is not fleeting , my care is lasting, the communication is two way, the desire is insatiable!!

But when the moment comes, I can walk away, like the pretender who has gone to ice. I can accept that her faults are mine, that the decision to go was mine. I always leave her pristine white. It's my character that I blame for playing the game of houses.
I have never two timed a lady who reposed her faith in me. That's not me at all. I'm not confused to whom I want as a partner. It's just that this broken heart needs a soulmate rather than a business partner for life.
We must breathe one another...

So much for the needs.. Life is about adjustments - lots of them. I can live with that for awhile -but that's just it - awhile!!

That's probably why the so-called wrong women and my falling for'em. We come together for that fleeting happiness. I do know this - I feel that someday i'll meet her on the dance floor. We'll dance the night away under the stars and the moon. There'll be a light breeze, lending some movement to the stillness of the night around us. Words will not be spoken. Thoughts will be communicated. Feelings echoed as the bodies twirl in rhythm around a bonfire. Then I shall go on my knees to say... - she'll bring me back up because she knows...
Sutting on the beach as the waves beat the rocks... We'll catch the sunrise, starting life as one.

Someday - yes - someday .
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Reasons to do...

Friday, November 18, 2005
Political and military reasons are the ones you should rely on, if you care to know what I think. They have self-interest behind them, and that makes them likely to last. Principles are pretty, but they go stale a lot faster.
Now, either that's wisdom or some of the most appalling cynicism i've ever written.
Whenever someone talks about doing things for reasons of justice, you should put your hands in your pocket, because you're about to get it picked.
Not all reasons are evident at the beginning. Observe carefully and thou shalt see the fires of reason.

What is it that makes us do what we do?
This question plagues my mind many a time.
Decisions are taken and actions made , seemingly on the fly. You call me impulsive. I agree. But even in that impulsive action - there is reason.

Have you ever done something because your heart wished or didn't wish? I have.
I will get close to someone based on the vibes I get, or run away and close all forms of communication if my heart feels constrained. It takes a split second for me to make that decision. I'm not discussing the rights and wrongs of my thoughts & actions. Yes - I have been wrong at times - but generally been the better for it in the life ahead. My actions leave the affected person(s) perplexed. It always comes like a bolt from the blue. But given time they're the better for it too.
I cannot explain all my actions except that I did what I felt right.

I don't say sorry. I have no regrets. And in any case - "sorry" never solved nothing.
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Time to Play Catch up

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I hate to play catch up...
which means i'm reactive, rather than proactive!!!

It only serves to cramp my style!!

Today - I'm playing catch up at work, at home, with the packers , with my boss and the accounts department. Goes without saying that I'm playing catch up with the client and the vendors too. Oh - did I forget the team??

The question is - am I playing it the way I should?

I look in for ideas. Can't find'em
I look out for ideas. Nobody is givin any. I thought advice came free. Obviously not the useful stuff. That resides in the "members only" area of all the sites. :-)

I can't even find the words to type out today. Somehow everything is getting ahead of me. Maybe I'm a little tired. A wise woman I know mentioned very crisply - " you provide you r own questions and answers". Jeez - that can be quite a thoughtfulll!!

I will write more later when i'm composed.
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Smiles - Part 2

Wednesday, November 16, 2005
These are the smiles closer to home.
These are the smiles of my close family & friends.

Tina - my younger sis with Pankaj Bhai. This one was taken at Preetis (his sister - and mine too)wedding.
Nitin bhai and Rinku Bhabhi. Tying the knot after 8 years. That does bring about a smile on the face. December 4, 1999
Vishal and AnulekhaThat's Vishal & Anulekha. She's one of his really close female friends , albeit not his girlfriend.
Pooja & Shilpika - 31st Dec 04 - the fires are burning bright!!
Malliks Smile - burning Bright!!!
Yes - Pankaj can really frighten people with that smile
Shyamal, Shabbar & Vishal - Buddies forever
Mom Dad & Yours Truly

This one - I like best!!!

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The impatient patient.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005
I understand that life is not about a quick fix or a rush. It is about following your dreams across the mountains of mist, following that rainbow , where a pot of gold awaits you.
Life is about a steady growth punctuated by moments of realization which add depth and dimensions to the movement. It's like a video game where each successive level gains the player access to increased weapons and goodies to combat the challenges therein.
These increased weapons are not guns and bombs. They are the strength that comes with wisdom. Wisdom to understand, mull over the facts, analyse the circumstances and take decisive action.
Action, to my way of thinking, must necessarily be decisive. Half hearted action yields not the desired results.

Patience is one of the signs of attained wisdom. It is also a sign of maturity.
All the wise men and women say so.
In my heart of hearts I agree with them.
And now as I grow older - I should be more patient. Sometimes i'm not. It makes me wonder - the analysis is generally post facto.
Then there's that unknown rule of destiny & fate playing their hands in my life.
The wheel weaves as the wheel wills - so says one of my favorite books. The weaves of our lives intersperse with one another. People we didn’t know till the morning- become close. Friends to enemies and vice versa.

I am definitely an impatient patient.
Trying to jump levels sometimes ,in this game. Attempting to use a cheat code even when I know that none will work.
No - i'm not lazy. In fact the very opposite of it. I work extremely hard to succeed and win. Sometimes that "win" is the only comprehensible goal.
Mallik, a friend, once commented ," you are always competing. You are in competition with all those around you." So I am.
But more than anyone else - I compete against me. I lose sometimes. I do learn - never to repeat!
The questions I should stop and ask myself are, where am I headed in such haste.? Is it fame, glory, riches, the arms of a beautiful woman? What's in it for me? Why this selfish streak of self obsession where I disregard thoughts for others? What was the last good thing I did for anyone (other than myself)?

Answers - patience !!!

They will come with each level. Starting to ask the right questions is a good beginning.
I drown in the melody of Vivaldi ad his four seasons as I search the path. As that peters out - dire straits belt out "walks of life".
So very poignant - I must observe - and extremely tuned to the moment.
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Tublu & the Leg

Thursday, November 03, 2005
Shiladitya (a.k.a Tublu) is a gentle sole - I mean Soul!!
He has a thing for good Legs - especially if they belong to a Chick - oops Chicken!!

This is one of those days when I can't think straight.

Tublu "Bhai" is also a force to reckon with. Armed with his trusty ZIPPO - he moves around setting the worlds cigarettes aflame. He is capable of playing the DONs role to the hilt!!

He does have a very animated sense of Humour - at times!!

He is also a very nice , sensitive and humorous guy & above all, a great friend!!

PS : He is liable to lynch me after perusing the above!!!

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Saturday Night banter

Monday, October 31, 2005
Sitting at home on a Saturday night - Sunday early morning to be precise. I'm in a dilemma.
it's in such a form that putting my finger on the pulse of it ain't easy.

Here's the situation. I was out all evening with friends - very close ones at that. We did the evening walk, the dinner and the subsequent club scene. 2:30am - i'm home-alone.
But I don't wanna be all lonesome. Something is missing. She's not here in the physical form - but somehow I feel her -more so the lack of her.

The evening came along well. But I felt like a fish out of water. There were 3 married couples and the joker in the pack of cards - me!!
I thought how she'd adjust to the lifestyle I lead. Maybe it's not fair to ask her to do all the adapting around here. I would need to change too. How much am I willing to change? That's the question I need to answer. My life goes through the twists and turns of a complicated dance routine. I have negotiated it till now. But it's not enough that I went it alone till now. Not any longer. Jigyasa has to be in our decisions now.

I understand that our relationship with those close to us is crucial to the success of our lives together. It's not just about me'n'her. There's more to life than that.
There always is!

And that's the group I partied with on Saturday night. 3 Married couples and me.

(L-R) Arjun, Shyamal, Anu, Amrita,Subbu, Priyanka and Chandan.
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
John may have left us for greener pastures at WIPRO.

Here's a small tribute to the Man he used to be - at least at Lionbridge

Sleeping John

Weeping John

Comfy John

John - doing the dishes

And finally - one that's just him!!!

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Deciding the KRAs

Sunday, October 16, 2005
We finally got to have an Offsite Meeting, albeit the venue was my House rather than the plush confines of a resort. Kinda better it happened this way.
We'd been discussing the issue of brainstorming and attempting to set things right.
Vikram finally sent out the email telling everybody -we were gonna leave office at 5PM on a Friday evening and put our heads to work. The aim was to move out of the Transaction oriented system we were following and move to a newer Project Management system.
We gathered at the venue by 7 PM and work started. Calls happened as we started getting some structure into place. The work is not complete - but the first step has been taken - in the right direction!!!!!
The Attendees were Vikram, Raghu, Venu, Suresh and yours truly. We really missed John at this meeting. He'd been the one clamouring for an offsite conclave for 5 months. Now we had to have it without his brains to pick. That's a loss we'll live with - I guess.
Post Work Discussion (L-R)Venu and Raghu

And the debate continues (Vikram - yellow attire, Suresh in Black)

"I Have point to make too - Kiru"
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Turning 28

Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I'm 28 - actually completed it today.

I turn 28 and Tina - my sis turns 25. We're not twins - not even close, but all the same we share a birthday. Here are some pics from our Birthday party

That's Tina and Me. My -Shirt is all dowsed in Wine, poured in celebration.

The bottle does a Jig

Cleaving the cake

Why are you so serious?

Are we missing something?

No - we're too busy on the leg

John - doing what he does best

No more pics - the party hasn't even started.

Wine coolers - straight from the top!!!

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A Fare thee well to Mallik

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Friend , Bed partner, colleague - lotsa roles filled up by this guy.
.. and before anyone thinks otherwise... he stayed with me for a month.. and I have a double bed !!!

He's been with our PM Team at Lionbridge since April - and it's sad to see him to go.
I'm happy that he'll be happy - being back in Hyderabad - doing something he'd like.

Cheers!!!! To Malliks future

Jags'n'me - all smiles

So it's time to clap your hands and say arrivederci

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Catching up on old times

Monday, August 29, 2005
Today I played catch...
Catching up with old friends, family and the family astrologer.

Times change, people change - but some things about them, remain unchanged.
I met Amit, Ranjini and Nikhil today.

The limitations of time & place have set us apart -geographically.

But when we meet - it's still the good ol' days.

Cheers to that.
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Partying in Delhi

Sunday, August 28, 2005
I finally made it home.

Told my boss that I needed a break before I broke.
So I got a Friday & the weekend off (finally..)
I hauled myself down to Delhi using our nation's national carrier and decided to cut loose.
My social circle in Delhi is limited to a fwe friends of yesteryears. All happily married folks - unable to venture out of the coccoon they call home.
So I turned to my sister Tina for help. She has plenty of friends and I accompanied them on their Friday night jaunt
We first went bowling and pool at ESSEX FARMS followed by some serious dancin'n'drinkin at BUZZ.
Interesting people they are, some more than the others.

Partying the night away - (R-L) DB, Namita, Tina and me

Hold on..tight!!!

Tina giving it her best shot

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Independence Day - 2005

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

15th of August - India's Independence Day.

Nothing like a party to usher in the Biggest of the national Holidays here

So here we go...
The Participants.
1. Shiladitya a.k.a Tublu
2. Debapriya a.k.a Debu
3. Jagadish a.k.a Jaggs
4. Anshuman a.k.a PM Da
5. Arjun a.k.a. Me

That's Tublu, Me, PM da and Debu

That's Jaggs, Tublu , PM da and Debu

Threesomes are fun....

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Again - Pics

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Cafe Mondegar at Colaba. My fav Hang Out. Simply luv the Music, the beer and the crowd.
Also has some of the best Murals by Mr Miranda - depicting all aspects of Mumbai street culture

My Bank at Night. Yes - I bank with HSBC and that's their Office all lit up at night.

One of the Tourist Must Sees in Mumbai - the Gateway of India. It has quite an interesting History to it - like it was built to commemorate the visit of the British Monarch to India during the 30s.

Radio Club on a dull Saturday evening

A Tale of 2 ducks - with and without the head

They have no Pond - although they get to bask in the rain

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Arjuns Tryst with the camera's Fan Box


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    Gurgaon, India
    traveling life's quaint paths and making my own destiny...

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